September 29, 2003
A Brand New 5764

OPEN MOUTH

Back from the trenches, y'all. And the New Year doesn't look any easier.

Holidays at home were actually calm... maybe it's 'cause we all got super sick with the Crazy Sinus Attacking Flu. My mom and I both coughed up lungs and prolly passed it along to Noah the Righteous. The high point of the trip (apart from my family, natch) was waiting for my baggage in Detroit and having some woman ask me if "this was the flight to Detroit?"

THEY'RE ALL FLIGHTS TO DETROIT.

Sigh.

Anywho, back home and fighting the sniffles, but I'm off to see PIRATES again this eve in lieu of getting actual work done. That's cool, cause I'm fasting and it's prolly better that I don't go to the gym (though I would, stoopid me) or write when sick, full and dying. Better to let the movies take me away to sugar coated fantasyland.

Speaking of work...

Got some BROWNSVILLE pages from Jake today... he's making edits and tightening blacks a bit, and the pages through 20 are SUPER, thanks for asking. STILL WAITING on edits from the secret project (which by the way, is a lot less secret these days it seems...sigh), however I DID hear back from a promising lead in an animation studio as well as a new publisher who might look at some OGN projects... thanks, Scott "Heineken King" Brown!

Post SPX, my minis are getting some buzz... HEARTBREAK got a so-so review from Rich Watson, while Gail Simone has been egging folks to buy from me after the packet I sent arrived (egg on, Gail!). Got a few mail orders and hopefully, the minis should reach the Isotope in a few days.

For now, I'm focusing on writing the novel (at page 165 - aiming for 200 by December), drawing a new mini-graphic novel and writing the second issue of THE BIG KAHN. Overseeing Jake's work, researching DEAD RONIN and musing over a new submission to GRAPHIC SMASH along with waiting for BOTH secret big-time publisher projects to come back...gah.

Have I mentioned I'm hungry?

By the way, there's been way too many deaths lately... George Plimpton, Cash and Ritter, now Elia Kazan and Donald O'Connor... lots of luminaries are gone... sad, really.

Anyway, I'm off to distract my stomach.

More tomorrow.


September 25, 2003
BEER

OPEN MOUTH

There is nothing more to say than CLICK ON ALL THE LINKS.

Thanks to Larry Young for posting this on Brian Wood's delphi board.

Man, I jones some Ale now.


Happy New Pie Year

OPEN MOUTH


Apples and honey, folks. Apple and honey.

Had a rough time over the past few weeks, but now that the shit's off the fan I can look to breathe. Had some personal life issues and fought off a case of the writer doldrums, but now I'm hyped and kicking ass.

Off to Detroit today for Rosh Hashana. Haven't been home since April and haven't really spent time with nephew Number One so it'll be good... it'll also give me a comics vacation for a few days, letting me come back energized and ready to write.

Rumor has it I'll be getting editorial notes on the good-to-go project tomorrow, so I should tackle the rewrite on the outline starting Monday night. I also have a pro bono newsletter design to do for my alma mater, so next week's looking tight already. Starting to gather research on DEAD RONIN and gearing up to hit page 200 on COFFIN, so my nights are packed and the weekends not mine anymore. BIG KAHN #2 is on the writing block as is some pitch letters. I plan on taking BIT CITY over to the new Graphic Smash and Jonathan tells me he's got some pages going. Getting good reviews on RANT #3 via email... including some mail order sales. Have to remember to send a few copies to James Sime, as well.

Other than that, whats going on?

It seems that Waid and Ringo are back on FANTASTIC FOUR again. Makes that whole brouhaha back in Spring seem kind of pointless now.

Speaking of brouhahas, I feel bad for CrossGen in a way.... they got some great momentum and little stumbling blocks like this are putting bad tastes in people's mouths. I'm pretty sure that guys like Guice will get picked up for freelance work, but whats to become of CrossGen now? I remember answering their "call to arms" back when it first appeared in WIZARD and I remember thinking "ah, fly by night company" and then when it really picked up steam I was pleasantly surprised. Sad to think that it might be the beginning of the end.

Comics. Comics. Have you read THE LOSERS by Diggle and Jock? If not, go now. I'll be here when you get back.

Will Team Comix?

Good god, there are alot of DVDs coming out. I still need to pick up ONCE UPON A TIME IN AMERICA.

Speaking of DVDs (and books, I guess), researching DEAD RONIN here... and I'm hitting the library plus googling up a few books and sites... but it's always good to be more informed than not. Can anyone point me in the direction of some good books or films that detail the history and social climate of the Orient around the turn of the century? Early 1900s?

Also, any books on the history and structure, culture, etc of Samurai would be a great help. Email

I love historical stories... and Joe Kubert is a master.

Anyway, I'm off to get ready for my flight.

Happy New Year, Rabbi Calabash.

Wherever you are.

INSERT FOOT

I SWEAR I'll get back to the LATE NIGHT BLOCK scripting after the holidays...in the meantime:


By RICK CALLAHAN, Associated Press Writer

"Scientists have created a new type of "electronic paper" that may one day enable books and newspapers to show full-color movies. Tiny dots packed in columns and rows on the paper can change colors in just one one-hundredth of a second, fast enough that a whole array of these dots could display video images, said Robert A. Hayes, a scientist at Philips Research Laboratories in Eindhoven, the Netherlands. "


Oh, and why don't you kids act this way when Yanni comes to town?


September 22, 2003
If I could only think

OPEN MOUTH

The hell is wrong with me?

Half asleep, running myself down to nothing... can't focus on work, on writing, on people, on G-d... all I want is sleep and endless relaxation. This is why I'm not getting anywhere... too busy lazing. And these fucking morons in the office NEVER. STOP. TALKING.

Trying to bust back into the ongoing creativity. STILL waiting on editorial notes on the project outline... also waiting for approval on the first project. It's all a big wait. And procrastination.... pushing off more comics writing and cartooning while I punch a few paltry COFFIN pages out along with gym time. I don' know... I figured after SPX I'd be enthused... excited... now I'm just tired.

Yay Team Sleep.

Maybe I need a break. Hell, I'm too tired to write proper blogs anymore.

I wonder if I'm sick...?

Rosh Hashana is this weekend... going home to the family and gonna breathe suburban air. Maybe a change of scenery will help.

In the meantime, I'm gonna zombie on home to some chicken, the gym and a bit of writing... even if I hack something out.

G'night.


September 16, 2003
Behold the Storm

OPEN MOUTH

Fuck you, Isabel. Hurricanes don't scare me... the storm overtook me long ago.

Starting to drown under a monsooon of my own making here... debt is tallying, both from loans, bills and whatnot... not to mention the rising tide of work - illustration, scripts and the like. Trying to keep my head above water and it's tough... real tough. Moments to myself, moments to think are rare and scarce.

Banged out five more pages of COFFIN last night; wrapped up the DINERTOWN pitch but Dabb and I think it's crap. Gonna retool tonight and see what's what. Trying a diet on for size, but it's not sticking. Shame that the calories are.

I have to focus - rededicate. Waiting on editor notes from one of the Secret Projects and I'm turning in the full first issue of the second unsigned project when I get home.

Comics are boring me but animation seems like a new lark... maybe...?

No time to scour the net. No time to be super blogger.

Toss me that life jacket, would you?

INSERT FOOT


Did you hear me, hurricane swine?

Kiss my corn-fed ass.



September 15, 2003
Weakend

OPEN MOUTH

What a fucking awful weekend.

Rain... bad date... a little work done, but not much. Oh, and the fact that I've gained weight.

Then there's the matter of the 300 dollar cell phone bill i got - charged for using my phone during THE BLACKOUT.

How did I get a 118 minute incoming call charge?

Fuck.

Too beat and beat up to write.


September 11, 2003
Ups, Downs

OPEN MOUTH
One more thing: while I did get two publisher rejections, the first was pretty encouraging and the second was VERY positive, letting me know I'm JUST about there. I was offered some great advice and direction and I plan on using it all...

...and then just now, I got a good email in reference to my original Secret Project telling me they liked the writing.

Cross dem fingahs.


Okay. Breathe.

OPEN MOUTH

Not quite at a "free and clear" place, but I do have a second to write something. I'm having some issues here at work with being on the net during the day, so things might get spottier, but as I'm here...

Got a few responses from folks post-SPX. Two publisher rejections but both with clear, well thought out critiques, which is GOOD. As a whole, pretty positive stuff to merely direct me a bit better, so it's something I can learn from. Have yet to hear back from the Secret Project folks about the outlines I sent last week.... tomorrow I might drop another line to see what's what. I'm in a weird waiting period - I'm waiting to do any comics work til next week (to allow me to breathe a little) but I'm also waiting for folks with projects I'm working on to get back to me so I can see what my workload is going to be like.

BIG NEWS contacted me for another illo, but as I haven't been paid for the first...

The best part about the weekend was meeting folks. I got some nice post-con emails from Tatiana Gill and Jeff Parker as well as a bit of back an' forth from Jane about shabbos and whatnot. It's nice talking comics with people.

I have to fix my bed. A bolt popped on my Ikea Crapmatic and now I'm afraid to sleep on it for fear it's gonna crash on me in the middle of the night... so I've been on the floor for the past week - which is strangely relaxing...

"Bad to the Bone" just came on the radio. I wanna break things now.

Starting to plan my Rosh Hashana trip home... shame I won't have time to see Detroit cartoony folks - but at least I'll get to play with my nephew. Yay!

Gearing up for a weekend of debauchery, sleep and gym (boy, howdy!) with maybe some light writing on Sunday...then it's back to the comical grind. I wanna finish DINERTOWN and PLUTONIAN, flesh out THE BIG KAHN pitch and start drawing either AURAL FIXATION or CREATIVITY. I might put 90 CANDLES aside unless I get the Xeric - who, by the way, i got a "we got everything" postcard from.

My throat's healing, my eyes are dropping and there's food to buy and comics to read. Time to go home.

INSERT FOOT

Everything old is new again.

One...

PIXIES PLAN WORLD TOUR

"Cult US rockers the Pixies look set to reform for a world tour in spring 2004, according to reports. The infamously quarrelsome quartet last performed together in public more than a decade ago but are now said to be planning the global trek in addition to a new studio album."

Two...

Opus the Penguin Back In the Funny Business
'Bloom County' Character to Star In Berkeley Breathed's New Strip

"After eight years away from newspapers, Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist Berkeley Breathed is creating a new comic strip called "Opus," starring his beloved penguin of the same name. "

Three... well, not OLD but still... oy

BALE IS BATMAN

"According to a press release, Christain Bale will follow in the footsteps of Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, and George Clooney when he assumes the role of Bruce Wayne/Batman on the silver screen in the upcoming Batman movie directed by Christopher Nolan. "


I think I'll just not worry anymore.


Anniverses

OPEN MOUTH
It's the anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center. On this day I will do two things:

1) Re-read my 9-11 story which inspired many in the face of tragedy.

2) Thank G-d for family and friends, many of who can be seen here:

Standing left to right: Greg McElhatton, Neil Kleid, Jane Irwin, Nat Gertler, Layla Lawlor, Carla Speed McNeil, A. David Lewis, Trisha L. Sebastian, Jen Hachigan, Sue, Sean Bieri, Suzanne. Kneeling or sitting, left to right: Dave Goldman, Karon Flage, Steve Goldman, Johanna Draper Carlson

Stay in Touch; Stay Safe.

I'm okay, you're okay.


September 10, 2003
SPX Cherry

OPEN MOUTH

Sunday started with a full box of comics and ended with an empty flask. Monday saw me dragging my heels across three boroughs to work, family and home, where a shattered bolt threatened to topple my bed to the unwashed ground. Now, it’s 8pm on Tuesday, my eyes are threatening to sink the rest of my brow and my brain is endlessly looping the chorus to “Tiny Dancer.” To my left sits a pile of wrinkled linen shirts and a long arm stapler. To my right, a stack of graphic novels and comics so tall it almost eclipses the CD rack to its immediate right. There are notes for two new comics in front of me, and sketches for an illustration job beneath. But here I sit, trying to recapture fleeting snapshots of the most rewarding comic book experiences of my life. Yes… even greater than the discreet tryst one night after MoCCA with two goth cosplayers and the mainstream editor.

Oops.

This past weekend, I was fortunate enough to attend my very first SPX (Small Press Expo). I’ve been unable to go in the past due to the fact that it’s almost always coincided with Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year). This year, however, G-d and Greg McElhatton (Yes, Greg… in that order) took pity on a poor minicomic creator and set the Expo weeks before the New Year. Armed with boxes of minis and beer money, I joined my House of Twelve collaborators Cheese Hasselberger, Dave McKenna, Brian Musikoff and Evan Forsch for a whirlwind four hour ride to Bethesda, MD. Along with Kevin Colden, Miss Lasko-Gross, Danny Hellman and others, we members of the NYC Comics Underground were presenting our latest collective offering, HOUSE OF TWELVE VER 2.0, along with various minis, comics and alcoholic rants to the nation’s legions of comic fans.

This is our story.

FRIDAY

Laden with donuts and water, we raced down the Jersey Turnpike watching FLCL discs on a laptop and reading dirty comics. Maybe we were racing too fast, because Brian ended up being yanked to the side of the highway for a seventy-dollar speeding ticket – and it didn’t help that I was asleep with no seatbelt. They let me off with a warning and a quickie, natch. Violated and shaking, we limped along to Bethesda, arriving at the fabulous Holiday Inn and Comics Casino in the vicinity of 2:30. Tossing a quick “I gotta go check in” to the chimney smoking Rafer Roberts and with quickness belying his frame, A. Dave Lewis, I followed my trip-exhausted crew into the razzle-dazzle of our home for the next few days.

Quickly changing into something less wrinkled in the room we I were squatting in, I prepared to venture into the con area itself. Expo Director Greg and Cruise Director Juli....er, Karon Flage were overseeing the shackled volunteers as they handed us our exhibitor brands and Ignatz ballots (on which I had three books up for a Debut Award – RANT COMICS #3, ART OF HEARTBREAK, LNB #2). We hiked over to our half table (V43B) where a stone’s throw away Danny was setting up his fortress of LEGAL ACTION COMICS next to dapper Johnny Terhorst. We strategically mapped out the table setup, making room for the HO12 laptop and copies of MAULED to the amusement of our table mates. Down the aisle to our left were John Gallagher, stylishly modeling some nifty keen Buzzboy diner shirts, as well as Batton Lash and Jackie Estrada of SUPERNATURAL LAW fame. Past Danny on the right, we had the inimitable Fredo, the swashbuckling John P. Green and in the corner, a crudely drawn portrait of a man - Ben T. Steckler.

I think that might have been the last time I saw my table.

I spent a great deal of Friday and Saturday walking around and meeting people. I had to work fast because the sun was going down and I needed to get food for Sabbath and figure out a plan of attack as far as how I was going to deal with elevators and money over the next 24 hours. Sammy Harkham and I briefly tried to ascertain if there was any kosher food in the area, but a quick “in Bethesda?” had me running across the street to stock up on bread, PB &J, soda, beer and chips. Everyone else, it seems, went to the Tastee Diner or Mongolian BBQ. When I got back I had a quick chat with Dave Lewis and Rafer, moving slightly to Dave’s right to say hello to old friend and collaborator Mark Wheatley. We chatted about his FRANKENSTEIN MOBSTER book and the optioned HAMMER OF THE GODS. I kept going right, making my way around the inner island, and caught up with Chris “Man Talk” Pitzer and his hetero-lifemate, Rob Ullman. I hadn’t seen them since MoCCA when we killed that Frenchman somewhere off 14th Street. Good times. Rob was situated next to the always stylish Jason Little and across from the Alternative Comics commune. Directionless without the tardy Jeff Mason, the AC cartoonists were milling around, plucking at pretty little minicomics and ogling the con’s hot item – the TRUE PORN anthology edited by Kelli Nelson and Robyn Chapman. A quick hello to Nick Bertozzi and Ellen Lindner; a quick hug to Laurenn McCubbin, who ladened my arms with my KITCHEN SINK MAGAZINE contributor copies; and a fast make -out session with big brother Dino Haspiel and I was off.


It’s always nice to see political cartoonist Jen Sorenson, and while we were destined to catch up later that eve, I risked a quick “what’s happenin’?!” She filled me in on the upcoming second collection of SLOWPOKE, stopping only to admire the glowing wondrous glow of new father James Kochalka, and then I was kicked to the aisles, seeking solace in Todd Webb’s painted toilet seat cover. Spurned by Jen, I wandered across the way to watch as TEENAGERS FROM MARS creators Rick Spears and Rob G methodically skinned a live teenager with nothing but an X-Acto knife and spare drink tickets. The misguided youth had unknowingly asked the boys when their trade was coming out and ended up spending his final moments as table dressing. To the left of the TFM table, the Drawn and Quarterly table was engaged in a brutal cross-room battle with the STUDYGROUP 12 folks. Zack Soto was heard to shout “You’ll never take me alive!” before pelting R. Sikoryak with five copies of the new TYPEWRITER anthology, much to David Youngblood’s dismay. I quickly retreated back to the HO12 table, ducking barrages of PAUL HAS A SUMMER JOB and the new STUDYGROUP 12 anthology.

A. Dave Lewis was reading THE RETURN OF THE KING.

Back at our table, noted comics raconteur Victor Cayro was regaling the gents with tales of ribaldry. Vic, suave and dare I say rugged, chuckled as Dirty Danny engaged him in witty banter and mildly suggestive repartee. Vic, ever the gentlemen, kissed passing blushing ladies’ hands and offered his seat under Danny’s table to any and all that required relief from traversing the miles of aisles throughout the con. We all also had some Heinies.

It seems that while I was snogging Dean and avoiding being beaned by a copy of HICKSVILLE, I had only been able to sell one of my minis. I’d have to do something about that. Perhaps a plot involving ball bearings and poison. No… that would never do. I know – find another table to sell books on.

Enter the Tarts.

Skipping merrily across to the Montgomery Room, I found myself hailed by a slew of familiar hellos and girlish giggles. I reacted to the sounds of shy tinkling laughter, waving at the madly blushing duo of Chris Radtke and Mike Dawson. Noting to catch up with them later, I entered the Room seeking out my old pals from Sequential Tart. A hug from Carla Speed McNeill and her tablemate, the leopard-hat-wearing Trisha Sebastian, bought me the chance to ask them to stock a few copies of LNB #2 on Carla’s table. As they rearranged all of Carla’s FINDER work and the highly sought after copies of SMUT PEDDLER, I leaned across the way to introduce myself to the be-fezzed Jane Irwin and her Boothmonkey, as well as Layla Lawlor, Jen Hachigan, Pam Bliss, Steven Goldman and Suzanne Baumann. Which was weird, because they weren’t all sitting across the way…more like around the way. I blame Terry Moore, who kept tipping the room to his advantage. I dropped mad science with Jim Ottaviani and slipped some tongue to INTERMAN Jeff Parker, King of the Moon Pies and then stammered like a fanboy idiot in front of the increasingly frightened Roger Langridge. It took all my strength and some pretty graphic novels and prints on the nearby Highwater Books table to tear me away.

Highwater Books?! Holy crap – I Have pitch packets to hand out!

The hour was getting late and I wanted to get some prepackaged envelopes (with pages from BROWNSVILLE, mine and Jake Allen’s upcoming Murder Inc graphic novel, among other pitches) into publisher hands. I forced my dirty wares on Pitzer and the newly arrived and be-tiaraedJeff Mason. I then laid the smack down at the Top Shelf booth, where the affable Chris Staros and the funk-AY Brett Warnock were building a fort out of copies of Craig Thompson’s BLANKETS. Brett and I gushed over Scott Morse’s BAREFOOT SERPENT, and he suggested some Kurosawa films for me to check out. I strode off, giving the one handed salute to Alex Robinson and the single finger salute to the still tittering Radtke and Dawson.

Heh, Tittering.

FRIDAY NIGHT

By then, the con was wrapping up for the day. Greg cracked his whip and we all scurried off to prepare for dinner. The HO12 boys and I split up – they to a cavalcade of meat, me to the nearby Mexican place along with the SMUT PEDLLER contributors and groupies. I got a quick hello in with Ed Mathew’s Big Gay Group Dinner Crowd, off to the Rock Bottom. Met blue haired ball of comics dynamite, Tristan Crane and jumped three feet as Laurenn McCubbin copped a feel. Sure, sure… she’ll deny it. But who knows better?

Here’s the problem with being religious at a con – choices are slim. The Mexican place, while offering an array of veggies amid meat and cheese, did not lend itself to a kosher/vegetarian salad based diet. They didn’t have a “green salad” so I had to settle for a Coke. MY head started hurting so I decided to run up to my room, informing Carla, Jane, Pam Bliss, Trisha, Motown hooligan Sean Bieri and eighty other SMUT folk that I was off to scarf some deli I brought and would return anon. I hiked up the eleven flights only to discover I had no way in to the room – the key was not working. Trudging back down, the manager fixed me up and I had to pull myself back up eleven flights for deli and diet soda. Some aspirin and a change of clothes, and I was back down to the masses, awing them all with my flask of single malt scotch (Glen Goyne – 12 year), black linen shirt and array of “mohel” stories. Carla and I got to tell everyone the Tale of the Tiny Mezuzah as well as discuss my stealth Grandmother as everyone else wished they could be as witty and je nais se quick as we were… ah, the laughter. Ah, the excess margaritas.

Returning to the hotel bar, we availed ourselves of the free drink tickets and looked for a quiet corner in which to chat and laugh at everyone. A meaty arm blindsided me and I spent the next hour talking old school Marvel with Radtke and Dawson. as Alex Robinson and Tony “Foisey” Consiglio looked on - much like proud parents about to leave their children stranded in the middle of the woods, no food or compass to guide them home. The Tarts said goodnight and I found myself overwhelmed by the amount of cartoonists and folks I ended up talking to that night. But like all good stories, even this one has to end with me drinking and talking politics in room 1429 with the HO12 guys at 2 AM.

It’s like fate.

SATURDAY

Waking right before the “opening bell,” I rushed down to the main exhibitor hall and plunked myself down next to Musikoff. The attendees started trickling in, and a slow, steady stream walked by the nearby please of “Have you seen the Silent Pulse?” to check out the decadence we had to offer. I traded a copy of SP to Josh Simmons for his latest HAPPY comic and Vic Cayro regaled us all with a ripping yarn that had to do with a six pack, a chicken and several pounds of fish. How we laughed! Oh, that Victor! Friends started coming by the table, from Moonstone’s David Gallaher to Fightin’ Mad Jim Dougan, to pick up copies of HEARTBREAK and RANT #3. The HO12 boys graciously sold my books for me, never once slugging me on the back of the head for being a complete dick. Pretty girls descended on the table, tearing their clothes for Dave McKenna’s KOSMOSTRATOR (and Dashing Dave himself!) while large, homely men giggled with glee at Kevin Colden’s HIGHLY IRREVERENT ADVENTURES OF JESUS minis. Miss Lasko Gross, a credit to sarcastic women everywhere, began the meme “Careful, Rachel – there’s semen there” in tribute to our favorite story in the TRUE PORN book and Cheese, hopped up on sub sandwiches, Heineken and copies of WEIRDO, began shouting unintelligible curses at small confused children. I went to get something to drink, only to be harassed by Harris – Harris Publishing, that is, who had an interview scheduled with me for an upcoming issue of VAMPIRELLA MAGAZINE thanks to the beauteous and giving Maureen McTigue and her manslave, Boni Alimagno. Wrapping up fifteen minute of me grunting them words “Team Comics.” I rabbit punched Harris O’Malley in the back of the head for some angel porn and watched as the TFM boys annexed nearby table space by breaking several bottles of Old GrandDad over its occupants’ head.

The next few hours was a blur of handshakes, sketches, signings and pitch packets as I met my new favorite couple, Tom and Lily Beland, and handed envelopes to NBM, Slave Labor and Highwater Books. I got some swank sketches from Tommy B and Farel Dalrymple, and collected the last signatures I needed for my copy of 9-11:EMERGENCY RELIEF. Venturing into the far end of the room, I said hello to Ignatz nominee Raina Telgemeier and TEEN BOAT creator Dave Roman, right after realizing there were about fifty girls with dyed blue hair at the con. One of them, Corey Marie from Michigan, handed me a great mini called LSR with some music interviews and very “Chynna Clugston Major” artwork.

That night, in the HO12 compound, the boys were going to be throwing a party, so everyone I met affirmed that the room was 1429 and not 1492. Rafer and his wife, Nan, introduced me to Danielle, who does RAMBLERS for Popimage.com and they assured me they’d attend the party.

A. Dave Lewis was still reading THE RETURN OF THE KING.

In he Washington Room, Eisner Award nominated Damon Hurd was crushing the remains of a finished stogie into the floor, high on life and the debut of his new book, A SORT OF HOMECOMING. I hooked Damon up with a copy of HEARTBREAK and scored his new book plus a copy of STRANGE DAY, his upcoming tome with Tatiana Gill. Had a glance at the Fantagraphics table and realized how much Eric Reynolds looks like my old typography teacher. Turned the corner to visit the Cyberosia Publishing table – Scott and Kristen Brown, my other new favorite couple, were beaming at their young godchild, Mal Jones. Mal, a boy who could use some fattening up, made plans with me to meet for lunch on Sunday. Scott and I caught up and we promised to “throw down” that night. Nearby, Paul Hornschemeier, a name I can never spell right, was re-teaching the world how to draw.

Radtke and Dawson were doing some kind of documentary. I heard the words “casting couch” being whispered behind the Top Shelf booth. Don’t be jealous, Rich Koslowski – you wont the Ignatz for Best Graphic Novel.

Off to the side of the camera, by the way, Staros and Warnock were beating the shit out of the one guy walking the con in a Green Lantern shirt. I hear they buried the body in a hollowed –out copy of BLANKETS,

I made my way into the Montgomery Room, waving a hello to Tristan who was signing copies of the superior HOW LOATHSOME. Carla and I retold the Tiny Mezuzah story to someone (I think it was Jeff Parker – though it might very well have been GreenBrain Comics retailers Dan & Katie Merritt). Ron Rege and I had a “Marc Bell” moment and I admired Madison Clells’ wonderfully created CUCKOO. Parker and Langridge hooked me up with sketches and I hooked up Parker with some BROWNSVILLE pages and pie. By the time, a full day before he was scheduled to volunteer, Sean Bieri was walking around selling SPX Anthologies. I stole a copy of JAPE.

5:30 was upon me, so handing my sketchbook over to Jason Little, I headed up to the only panel I went to all weekend- Ed Mathew’s GAYS IN COMICS forum. As a minority, I found the discussion eye opening… and I also got to use the phrase “Jew it Up” when I asked a question about pigeonholing yourself as a creator. Denise Sudell is extremely erudite and I finally got to meet Jose Villarubia, the nicest guy in comics, even though Ed Mathews claims that title goes to Ed Mathews. That Ed Mathews is such a bitch.

I gave Jose some comics and headed back to the con floor where I beat the crap out of Rob Ullman while waiting for Jason to finish my FUCKING AMAZING sketch. Really, I didn’t beat Ullman up because I don’t think his fiancée would have appreciated it. But just you wait, Rob… MoCCA’s just around the corner.

SATURDAY NIGHT

The HO12 guys were all set to head out as the con day started to come to an end… but first I got to stuff single issues of all my minicomics down the pants of Tom “Sparkle” Beland and Comic World News’ Ed Cunard. By the way, Ed – is your friend single? Wow.

The Sabbath day ended with me and Sammy Harkham reciting the Havdalah for everyone in attendance and then it was off to the Mongolian BBQ! I got to play chopsticks with many folks from Sequential Tart – most notably, the tin whistle playin’ Jane Irwin and alkie, Sean Bieri. Speed and I discussed the difference of being Jewish, Amish and Snake Handler while on the line for stir fry (mine was strickly rice and veggie, folks!) and after a hello to Damon Hurd and Rick Smith, I was off to the hotel for the HO12 party.

I’m pretty sure A. Dave Lewis was halfway through THE RETURN OF THE KING by the time.

Cheese, Brian, Kevin, Miss, Evan and McKenna were busy viewing a sanguine recorded film starring our very own heartthrob. Vic Cayro. The beer was bubbling in the cooler, a bottle of vodka chilling nearby. A comics jam slowly circulated around the room. Where were all the people?

Finally, several folks started to poke their heads instead – including Rafer, Nan, Danielle and Harris. We drank and some people smoked… and I had to excuse myself from the cloud to get some air. I swung down to the hotel bar where I parked myself down at a table with Scott and Kristen Brown, Mal Jones, Paul Hanna and the lovely (I’m gonna fuck her name up, I know it) Anna. Scott and I began to get drunker and drunker, and as Mal wimped out to go home and we bored Kristen to sleep, Scott, Paul and I decided we would solve all the problems in the comics industry at the table that night. Greg and Karon helped our crusade by supplying us with more and more drink tickets, bolstering my increasingly emptier flask. As Scott and I debated how the MATRIX relates to the DVD, hails of salutations from Dean Haspiel, Jeff Parker, the Gabagool guys and Ed Mathews interrupted us. Laurenn and I ran a quick pitch idea past Scott and then she was off to play with Tristan and the TFM guys, who were now using hotel bellhops as coasters. While Scott went to replenish his drink intake, I chatted up the “Wedded Bliss” Crowd (Dawson, Ullmann and Consiglio) but had to leave when they started comparing ring size (it’s Tony, in case you were interested).

Scott and I closed the bar at that table and I ended up talking about MoCCA with Ullmann and Rob Clough for awhile. I debated looking for the Alternative Comics party but ended up passing out instead, drunk and righteous.

SUNDAY

Here it was – the final wad.

Greg had approved me annexing the empty half table in the Montgomery Room next to Jane Irwin so I could spread myself out a bit, so with a hotel sheet, some boxes and borrowed tape, I cobbled together a pretty fair table set-up. Kevin Colden dropped off some copies of JESUS and informed me that Terry Nantier of NBM was looking through my pitch packet when he walked by.

Sales increased that day as the change in location and nearness to Terry Moore and Carla really directed a nice flow of traffic past my booth. Speaking of booths, I cannot go on without thanking the hardest working man at the convention – Boothmonkey! The man really came through, helping me out with water, watching my stuff so I could go shop and more. Dude… pat yourself on the back – YOU are the spirit of Team Comics.

A. Dave Lewis was taking a break from THE RETURN OF THE KING to have a snack with his girlfriend.

I started making some headway in the sales department and even drew a sketch for Trisha and watched as Jane started trading VOGELEIN trades with everyone from Ted Rall to, well, me. Tom Beland came by with tons of signed TSSTG trades for everyone’s friends and families (all paid for, natch) and told me that if I won the Debut Award, he’s make my acceptance speech in honor of the six million.

Oh – that’s right. I’m up for an award.

I took a table break to urge people to vote and many of them asked to see my work. Naturally, I directed them to my table. I started trading comics with pretty girls and even started handing some out for free to known creators who I thought might like them (like Evan Dorkin, who graced my book with a quick MILK AND CHEESE sketch).

Oh, yeah – and I handed HEARTBREAK to some guy named Frank Miller. Heard of him?

After a chat with retailer Dan Merritt to see what I, as a creator, could do for a retailer when a new release comes out, Mal and I left the con to visit the Tastee Diner. Mal soaked his arteries in cholesterol while I nibbled in some fries. We both discussed the unfortunate amount of infighting in the comics industry while staring at the framed Kirby CAPTAIN AMERICA drawing above the kitchen. Our jukebox didn’t work but I’m happy to report their bathroom did.

The con was coming to a close and it was root hog or die – one last stab to get rid of book, buy books and get sketches. I snagged some anthologies from the D&Q table and stood in amazement as the last copy of TRUE PORN was sold. I picked up TEEN BOAT and TAKEOUT, and got a sketch from Frank Cammuso before buying A-Rob’s BOP and trading comics with the tuckered out Gabagool guys. Dave Roman slung me a copy of BROAD APPEAL and Tom Hart pushed Jon Lewis’ SPECTATORS into my hands. I started to pack up, collecting a great poster from the DIGNIFYING SCIENCE table and trading for Harris’ BETWEEN THE CRACKS.

And then it was over.

The HO12 boys wanted to be on the road right after we ate, so we rushed to pack the car. I said my good-byes to all that Tarts and stood on line for the elevator with Tom Beland and his Box of Mystery. Tom, presenting the Debut Ignatz I would not win (STUDYGROUP 12 won), assured me that he’d make my acceptance tasteful – much like the parting kiss Gary Groth received from an overcome Victor Cayro. Keep it together, Vic – there’s always APE. The TFM boys joined us, leftover comics wrapped in the tanned hide of the last men who done them wrong. Brian Musikoff and I played a bit of musical elevators, and then he, Cheese, Evan and Dave went to get Mexican while Rafer Roberts and I got some Thai. We were joined by the entire convention – most notably everyone I had meals with the other two nights and the cool kids from Jeff Mason’s stable of hired hands. I wolfed my rice, tofu and beer down and we made tracks back to the highway, away from Team Comics, and back to a metropolis that hated and feared us.

MONDAY

Dragging myself on aching feet, I schlepped to Midtown Comics to sell Gahl copies of RANT #3 and HEARTBREAK. As I trudged up the stairs and turned to the main floor, I noticed Gahl was talking to Rick Spears, deadly as sin writer of TEENAGERS FROM MARS. Rick and I caught Gahl up on what happened over the weekend and the three of us parted ways – Gahl and I to work out the sale and Rick to buy his comics. Once I was done, I struck up a conversation with Rick about the con. We both agreed that the sales were a bit light, what with the sparsity of attendees. However, we both agreed that in the face of a flagging market it was encouraging to see how much good work there is being produced. We shook hands and began to select our comics – he, a copy of JLA/AVENGERS #1; me, a copy of TESTAMENT, Jim Krueger’s graphic novel about the Bible. Rick motioned to the latest copy of DETECTIVE COMICS where he and his partner, Rob G, have a backup story and asked if I was buying it. I informed him I wasn’t really interested.

I never even saw the brass knuckles coming.

Bring on SPX 2004. I’ll have healed by then.


September 09, 2003
Sparky Collected

OPEN MOUTH


I'm two steps closer to getting back from under... and nearer to regular blogging again...but this news is too cool not to put up.

I WANT THIS.

Yay!


Back later for the SPX report.



September 08, 2003
woo.

OPEN MOUTH

I am back from SPX and have been hit with crippling sore throat, financial mess and heartbreak all on the same day.

But I had a fucking amazing time.

I'll fill out a report tonight and let you guys know what's what later tonight - right now I gotta go sell 20-40 comics or so...


September 04, 2003
One Day More

OPEN MOUTH

And lo, here we are. One day away from SPX.

Bring the fucker on.

I believe I am ready... I have the comics stapled and boxed. The pitches are a hair's breadth away from being ready (need to print out some cover letters and labels for the envelopes) and I'm getting some meetings/parties set up. I'm coiled like a snake, crouching like the tiger. Ready to pounce on comics and make it my bitch. Make it my dinner. Make it mine.

Last night's comical drinky jam got my hyped and wired... did some nice sketchy stuff... drank very little to keep my brain ready for the con. Got my copy of HOUSE OF TWELVE VER 2.0 and I am MOST impressed. Great covers (especially McKenna's back cover) and solid stories. Danny's one pager is great, especially the Mud Man song. Thor's story kicks ass. They're all so goddamn decadent... and then there's mine. I kick of the book with what seems ot be the cleanest, tamest tale in the tome. I realize now that I missed a few apostrophes in my lettering, but whatyagonna do? My name is misspelled in the beginning which is fine... but worse - I FORGOT TO PUT MY FUCKING CONTACT INFORMATION IN MY BIO! Hopefully most people know the power of google, right? All in all, though, what a kick ass book. I hope people snap it up like nekkid women in prison.

We're planning on throwing down in one of the rooms on Saturday night and I am meeting the Saucy Goose folks for dinner on Friday... I'd like to sit and chat with Dino, Mal Jones, Pitzer, Dawson and Radtke and Speed...geez, I have tons of people i need to meet. I'm a bit nervous, but its a good nervous... like the jitters before a threesome.

I went on a work hiatus while I prepped for SPX and when i get back it's time to rehit THE BIG KAHN, COFFIN and MIDNIGHT RUNNERS. Still waiting editorial approval on the outlines Dino and I passed along...and in the meantime, we worked up another pitch! As well, i started the DINERTOWN pitch... woo... bring 2004 the fuck on.

Mind is filled with comics and sunshine.

I leave at 10 AM.

Everyone play nice until I get back.


September 03, 2003
(insert title here)

OPEN MOUTH

Dudes.... waaaayy too busy with SPX prep.

Go entertain yourselves.

Here. They mention me.


September 02, 2003
Hello, I must Be Drinking

OPEN MOUTH

Well, that happened.

Sorry I've been out of it for days...what with the Labory goodness and SPX prep, it's gonna be a freaky week or two on blogspace. My sister was here for the weekend and I spent a great deal of time entertaining - had 50 PEOPLE over to my place for a cocktail/kiddush thing and it was fun fun fun. Bought a bottle of 12 year old Dalmore and was given a nice gift of GlenGoyne by one of the neighbors... problem was, I had too many toasts and not enough food so let's just say 8-9pm wasn't Happy Hour for Neil. That night I hit the pool hall and Cafe Lalo with buds where the entire female wait staff teased me by making me draw cartoons of them - and nary a phone number to be given. Le sigh.

Yesterday was loads of fun - hit the gym after setting up two pitches and updating the ol' website. Then Esti and I went to a 330 showing of PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN. Now HERE'S a movie made for me. Pirates, adventure, hot women, skeleton buccaneers.... I'l be avasting ye for weeks now... the music, the story, the serial adventure vibe I haven't gotten since RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK. Just wow. I wanna see it again. We also went to Dougie's and my new favorite junk food place, Popcor Indiana, to get some bbq popcorn.

I also put together all my SPX comics this weekend- the RANT covers are ace and HEARTBREAK just loks fucking beautiful. I packaged up all the minis I'm taking to SPX, but I need to get my hands on a luggage cart or something to shlep it all. While doing all that, I managed to finish off a new mainstream pitch with Dino and start a new one that I have to wrap my mind around. I wanna finish COFFIN, my novel, so I can start working on a straight adventure book.

Creative mojo, baby.

This week is gonna be capital F-fun. Gotta get a haircut and pay some bills while attending tomorrow night's comical jam to make plans for HOUSE OF TWELVE VER 2.0 pimping. There's gonna be a nice group interview up at Popimage this weekend and I have a bit of virtual ink coming for RANT 3 and HEARTBREAK at the Pulse.

On a sadder note, my friend Mo's dad died yesterday. It's always tough when someone your age loses a parent.... I know this is trite and I should be fucking slapped, but at least he saw all his children married before he went.

Speaking of death, so long Danny. I think tonight I'll watch THE GREAT ESCAPE again, and then get my hands on MAGNIFICENT SEVEN once more.

Nothing fucking good is going on comics, so come to SPX this weekend to get recharged.

I've had "Tiny Dancer" in my head ever since i saw ALMSOT FAMOUS. Time to get it out with some pirate sea shanties.

Yar!

INSERT FOOT

Be back later today for more LATE NIGHT BLOCK: NIGHT'S PLUTONIAN SHORE.

In the meantime, that Star Wars internet kid? We broke his brain.