July 31, 2003
I say "po-tah-to"

OPEN MOUTH

So I finally saw GLADIATOR. Yes, THAT'S how behind I am in seeing movies. But moving right along...

I didnt like it. Go ahead and fucking sue me.

I dunno... I just thought it was trying too much to be three different movies... a little BRAVEHEART, a little TEN COMMANDMENTS and a little BEN HUR... it went from a fierce SAVING PRIVATE RYANesque (but with Romans and Germans, natch) bloody battle and the pride of Rome, and so forth... and then SUDDENLY it shifts gears. Now it's about something else. Personally, I would have been just fine watching a movie about the Roman/Germania war and so on. You could have left out the whole gladiator thing. And then the whole brother-sister incest so and so... if that had been more explored... and the other gladiators felt like extras... and ...and... look, I just didn't feel it, okay?

The appeal of BRAVEHEART to me was the fact that the whole family/love/emotional reason for Wallace's misery and crusade was explained and really explored... now, granted, it was a much longer movie - but Maximus' family situation was never really shown other than in flashback and his pretty speeches. As well, BRAVEHEART, though focusing on various topics of information, was a seamless movie - from hero to villain to battles - GLADIATOR seemed very choppy. Like I said, we had our noble opening with Maximus and Marcus Aurelius then jumped back and forth to a really weak villain in Commodus and hinting at Maximus relationship with the female lead (I cant even remember her name..thats pretty sad) and then shifting into a different movie with Marcus Aurelius' death. It just seemed very patchwork. The gladiator scenes were good but moved VERY quickly to see moments and nothing truly stood out until the last two battles. And the ending fell very flat - from a predictable villain's death to a truly awful comment by the Senator and then a simply bad fade and final scene. I told Devorah that the way I knew I did not like it was that I kept asking if it was almost over.

The upside about it is that I saw the movie on the Hudson Pier at RiverFlicks. RiverFlicks is a great event - they show movies on a large screen along the West Side Pier every Wednesday and Friday night. It's free of charge and they sell popcorn and drinks. Last summer I saw CADDYSHACK and THE USUAL SUSPECTS. I plan on seeing ROAD TO PERDITION and PULP FICTION this summer. Devorah and I had a good time but I should have thought ahead and brought us a blanket or something... it got pretty damn cold.

So in the end - bad movie, good night. It was really something to be sitting and watching the movie out in the NYC night with at least 300 other New Yorkers, watching the boats go by in the Hudson, listening to the sounds of the city and trying my hardest to enjoy a movie that simply didn't sing to me.

Comics work check-in: Got three BROWNSVILLE finished pages from Jake yesterday.Ho-LEE. Really wonderful brushwork... the inks are TIGHT. I'll try and post them to the site next week.

Working on the cover for RANT #3 tonight... I'll lay out the Quark file and finish the illo when I get back fro the gym. This mini is going to look nice and with this and HEARTBREAK in hand, I might do pretty well at SPX.

Oh, got up to page 140 of COFFIN last night. I'm going to try punching out 5-10 pages a night... my goal is to hit the halfway point of the book by SPX and then turn it around to finish my 2004. I think I can do it, not knowing now what's up with comics and my workload.

I think I'll buy some comics tomorrow. I deserve some me time.


Rich Watson on LATE NIGHT BLOCK #2

OPEN MOUTH

I just noticed this review:

http://www.orcafresh.net/Watson/wt071403.html

"Late Night Block by Neil Kleid and Jamesmith. A pair of Twilight Zone-type stories, one about a guy who's literally the butt of every joke imaginable, the other about an airline stewardess who encounters a unique passenger. Both stories have a grim sense of humor with an underlying sense of terror, which Kleid absolutely nails, especially in the second story. The art is very good, with just the right amount of detail to make these stories convincing. Top it off with a cover by Finder's Carla Speed McNeil and you've got a winner. A"


If anyone out there is curious about the LATE NIGHT BLOCK, check out the official page at https://rantcomics.com/rant-LNB.html

And artists! I have two LNB short stories (one complete; one in the midst of being written) that desperately need illustrators. If you're a cartoonist looking to add an eerie horror story to your portfolio, shoot me an email at


Dreamscape, part One

INSERT FOOT

There I was, trying to avoid riding the giant flying Doberman Pinscher with all my heart. Its owner, a masked clown, had pity on me and simply asked if I would entertain the classroom full of nine-year-old Japanese schoolchildren trying to learn algebra. I started with a two handed juggling show and quickly graduated to the old cup-and-ball routine but it wasn't until I started singing karaoke that they opened up to me... I continued the cup-and-bull juggling act while belting out the "Hippy, Hippy Shake." And then, there was only one thing left to do: A brash duet with John Belushi/Jake Blues on "Shake your Tailfeather."

I'm assuming it's all Freudian.


July 30, 2003
Fat Men Weeping

OPEN MOUTH

Whew. Glad I had a minute there to rest... sometimes I run away with my workload and the amount of stuff I need to get done that it overwhelms me to the point of anxiety. I make lists for myself and check off everything I gotta do and everything I've done... it helps, it helps.

Anyway, things are a little clearer today. Had a good meeting which may lead to some freelance work and I'm geared up to get some more. I see alot of my friends and acquaintances doing freelance writing and designing, bringing in a bit o' extra cold cash and it's pushing me to bust my ass and do the same. I might not be the guy to write a column or hustle freelance writing, but why not snag some pimpmoney design jobs? Gots to cruise craigslist and see what we can see.

A mite bummed this mornin' about the fact that I'll have to skip this month's comical type fightin' jam. The night falls out on a fast day and I have to go talk to the Lord. This happens a lot... doesn't it just seem that every time you wanna do something, another thing gets in the way? Reminds me... gotta check out the two weddings I have this month and see what they conflict with if anything...

A quick run around the comic book bases reveals that it's Brian Wood week over at Newsarama and he's talking about Becky Cloonan, Absence of Ink Press Minis and Jacen Burrows for starters. As well, Trisha Sebastian tells me that she's started a message board for Saucy Goose Press, the mini imprint that puts out SMUT PEDDLER (in which I have a story).

Apart from the usual mainstream odds and ends at the PULSE (ooo...SUPERMAN's creative team changes... who cares?) there is a great interview by Gail Simone in which she talks to Bill Morrison and Terry Delegeane of BONGO Comics. I am a huge SIMPSONS fan and most people know that I'd sell your firstborn for a chance to write for them... this is the best "comics universe" out there and fuck your Marvel/DC elitism.

Also, just to make it perfectly clear, I'd write a G.I. JOE story in a hot minute.

Apparently Best Buy is selling the ONCE UPON A TIME IN AMERICA DVD for 20 smackers... movies or food? I love this movie... it's the best representation so far (in my opinion) of Jewish mobsters in film. Sure, there's LANSKY and LEPKE with Tony Curtis... but by and large ONCE outshines them all ins serious star power, well defined story and beautifull detailed sets, characterization and cinematography. If you haven't seen this I strongly suggest you rent it this week... and yes, Dad... you were right.

Matt Fraction and Augie DeBlieck report that ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST will be out in November... and the package is simply amazing.

What is it about genres I didn't like? I used to hate the Western genre when I was younger... I was too caught up in your TERMINATOR and ROBOCOP style of shoot em up- blow em up action flicks. RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK is my perfect movie - pulp action, romance, Nazis and great characterization. But THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN? THE MAN WHO SHOT LIBERTY VALANCE? And further, older films like TOUCH OF EVIL and THE MALTESE FALCON...these are movies my fourteen year old self would find boring. Now I can't get enough of historical fiction and war movies, etc...

Anyway, off to see GLADIATOR tonight. Then? The gym. Now? Porn.

INSERT FOOT


I've been utilizing the last few "insert foot" spaces to serialize my new LATE NIGHT BLOCK story and I think I'm doing pretty well... almost halfway done and I like where it's going. I'm going to take a break, though, and call out a few things that have caught my eye:

I have no comment on this one, but I think it's going to raise a mess of issues:

http://www.cnn.com/2003/LAW/07/30/rape.law.ap/index.html

"Rape law permits changing mind during sex act.

SPRINGFIELD, Illinois (AP) -- A new rape law in Illinois attempts to clarify the issue of consent by emphasizing that people can change their mind while having sex. Under the law, if someone says "no" at any time the other person must stop or it becomes rape."


pansies!

http://content.health.msn.com/content/article/71/81366.htm

"Metrosexuals: It's a Guy Thing!

An emerging breed of man, the metrosexual, shows his soft, sensitive, feminine side."


this is a site my accountant would love..!

http://www.obsessiveconsumption.com/front.html

"Obsessive Consumption is a documentation of spending habits. My spending habits. I am Kate Bingaman and I am a second yeargraduate student in design at the Universityof Nebraska. Obsessive Consumption startedon January 22nd, 2002 with the purchase of agreen couch for my studio. I bought the couchat the Salvation Army on 27th street. The price was $30.00. I took a picture of it and kept thereceipt and then thought I should do this foreverything that I would buy for the rest of graduate school. "

i see a dissertation somewhere in here...

http://w3.physics.uiuc.edu/~draeger/comics.html

"The Comics Suck!

Have you looked at the newspaper comics lately? Have you noticed how pathetic 95% of the strips have gotten? I mean, these guys aren't even trying. The punchline of the damn Jumble is usually funnier than just about every single joke thought up by these freaks in the last five years. What happened to pride? Once you run out of ideas, stop drawing comic strips! It's really just that simple. Go get another job"


Funny... I thought it was lack of pride that PUSHED you to draw comics.

Silly, silly me.


I know I'm forgetting something

OPEN MOUTH

Oh thank god. THANK GOD THANK GOD THANK GOD.

The Xeric submission is in the post.

That’s the reason I’ve been running around like mad and unable to post in the blog – I’ve been trying to sew up the loose ends such as getting all the financial info and whatnot in order…but today UPS carted a nice, FAT envelope off so here’s hoping!

Now that BROWNSVILLE and the Xeric packet are done and done, I can focus on other projects… even thought BROWNSVILLE is still in the mix – gotta make a pitch packet for SPX and I’m a-waitin’ on Jake’s pages. In the meantime, I started writing the first issue of THE BIG KAHN and actually completed the first draft tonight. It looks good and thank the lord that Max Riffner has signed aboard to draw it up all pretty once his GOLDEN BOY mini wraps up in the Fall. It’s a good story but again – LOTS of visual reference to gather. I’m also going to retackle COFFIN… working with prose again should be nice.

What else is up? Nothing of any great intelligence… I’m beat and can’t write much, but can tell you this: Spoke to some folks about some freelance work today, so I’m swinging that. Work is getting insane and I need to get some ducks in a row before I start working on everything for SPX. I have the interior for RANT #3 laid out and I should get the cover done over the weekend. I’m waiting on James’ HEARTBREAK pages and I think I’m gonna print up 25-30 copies of SMUT PEDDLER for SPX. By the by, SP is starting to make the rounds of local stores and websites. Keep your eye out for it.

E. Bess emails me to say she loved "SHOMER NEGIAH" and then went on to make me blush, praising me and so forth. I’m sad she might be heading to LA soon, but happy because it’s for a VERY good reason. Hopin’ to get a last drink in with her.

I’ve been sticking to the workout regimen through all this, managing an hour a night doing cardio and lifting when I can… keep it up, Neil!

Going to see GLADIATOR tomorrow night with Devorah at the Hudson Pier…it’ll be nice if the weather is good… I dig being outdoors and I’ve never seen it. I also like spending time with Devorah, and rumor is she likes spending time with me. Oh shut up.

Cheese is starting to gear up and finish HO12 v. 2. I can’t wait for this muhfuh. Y’all will like what I did. In the meantime, we’re all looking forward to next week’s jam and Thor’s birthday decadence!

Okay, I can’t think straight… so I’ll write more tomorrow. There’s a lot of stupidity going on in comics and the like that I’ll point out…

No, seriously.


INSERT FOOT

LATE NIGHT BLOCK: NIGHT'S PLUTONIAN SHORE

10 Pages written and copyrighted by Neil Kleid

Page Four (6 PANELS)

PANEL ONE
Davies looks back out through the door.


PANEL TWO
EXT. PLUTO – NIGHT
Large shot – the two aliens are standing on a very desolate rocky landscape. The stars are bright and close and we can see that this is not the planet Earth. The two aliens turn back to see Davies sticking his head out of what appears to be a small, ramshackle hut complete with iron piping and attached outhouse. Rocks and puffballs flutter around it. We can see planets and galaxies in the sky. Beyond the aliens, rising up from the ground, is a sleek, long, silver rocket named THE RAVEN II.

DAVIES: OH, MY --!

DAVIES: WHERE…?

PANEL THREE
The two aliens lean forward, one reaching out for Davies.

PANEL FOUR
Davies starts to slam the door, but the alien pushes into the space, knocking the man back.

PANEL FIVE
INT. HOUSE DRAWING ROOM- NIGHT
Davies is knocked into the room, falling on his back. He lifts his arms to ward off the aliens as they enter, closing the door behind them.

DAVIES: STAY BACK! STAY BACK! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!

PANEL SIX
The lead alien removes his helmet, revealing the lower half of a human face. The second alien starts to unbuckle his own.

ALIEN ONE: OF COURSE. YOU’RE FENTON DAVIES.

ALIEN ONE: I’VE SEEN ALL YOUR MOVIES.



July 28, 2003
Meet Max

OPEN MOUTH

Geez...trying to get the Xeric package out the door, but things keep coming up... for instance:

Thankfully, the one thing I have never had an issue with is finding good artists to work with... Jake Allen, the artist behind my graphic novel BROWNSVILLE is fantastic and I've got a few things in the hopper with some other really talented artists. And today, an innocent email to an old friend has landed me one more collaboration.

Meet Max Riffner.

Max, the guy who illustrated "Nostalgia" an 8 page story I did for the THIRD EYE PUBLISHING ANTHOLOGY 2001 and LATE NIGHT BLOCK #1 has really grown leaps and bounds in the last two years. Currently, Max is creating GOLDEN BOY, a hard luck boxing miniseries offered at Unboundcomics.com. Check out Max's GOLDEN BOY minisite at:

http://www.maxriffner.com/goldenboy/

A really nice image from the series can be seen at:

http://maxriffner.salemsys.com/goldenboy/2003/06/28/

Once GOLDEN BOY is finished, Max and I will begin working on THE BIG KAHN, a four issue miniseries about family, religion, loss and lies.


Revolt of the Homeless

OPEN MOUTH

Someone was kind enough to send along this link - I did this great illustration for BIG NEWS Magazine back in May and they finally posted the story and art online. Check out Robert Sheckley's REVOLT OF THE HOMELESS, accompanied by my toned piece at:

http://www.mainchance.org/upward/read/june2003/sheckley.html


Collective Exhale

OPEN MOUTH

I'll jump back here later to write the day's full entry, but I just wanted to point out that most people's Death Lotteries cashed in today:

http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/TV/07/28/obit.hope/index.html


"Bob Hope dead at 100
As theme song said, 'Thanks for the memory'

(CNN) -- Bob Hope, the legendary comedian whose quick wit, daring personality and ski-sloped nose made him an icon of 20th-century entertainment, has died. He was 100. "


July 25, 2003
Talk to me, my pretties

OPEN MOUTH

Since work has its ups and downs, I spend a great deal of time running around the net reading things. Most enjoyable are blogs... I get a nice glimpse into people's lives and what it is they're all about. I suppose I tend to stick to the comics related blogs... here's a nice sampling of blogs I visit:

Laurenn McCubbin: The always vivacious Ms McC talks about everything from comics to porn and has a beautifully designed website to boot.

Jamie S. Rich : Editor in Chief and high honcho at Oni Press, Jamie's blog tends to focus on the music industry and what's going on in the world of pop culture. It's really different from all the comics jabbery people out there and I, as a pop culture sponge, always learn something new.

Matt Fraction: Fraction, writer of LAST OF THE INDEPENDENTS by Ait-PlanetLar, is the king of the nonsequiter (sp?) blog. He's been monkeying around with this new futurephone blog thing.. check it out.

and to be all connecting, Kelly Sue DeConnick, Fraction's better half and writer for Artbomb.net and various adult titles has her ongoing journal on her newish site.

Dirk Deppey: Dirk writes in Journalista! over at the Comics Journal website and has the best roundup of comics news, discussion and debate going on in a day to day basis.

Evan Dorkin: Evan, creator of MILK AND CHEESE and DORK! is the funniest Jew in comics and is also funnier than alot of the gentiles. He posts sort of sporadically, though.

K Thor Jensen: Thor is a decadent machine who pumps out hardcore minis and great anthology stories. His blog always makes me wanna go out and break things.

E. Bess: New York based busker E. Bess writes about romance, music and subways in her most excellent zine, PLATFORM. If you dunno what a busker is then check out her site to be educated.

Warren Ellis: writer of stuff, breaker of worlds. Ellis has written comics for everyone and from what he tells us, is much sexier than any of you.

Scott McCloud: writer/creator of Understanding Comics and its sequel, Reinventing Comics, Scott's blog is very technology heavy and focuses on new vistas in webcomics.

Good words by good people. Have a look.

Just got an email from the artist on the secret project. He sent a sketch over of the style he wants to work in... oooo mama. I'm such a tease. This is great stuff.

Hit the gym last night - did the 2 hours and then had... pizza. I'm such an idiot.

Side note: why do all my old girlfriends want to be my best friend but dont want to go out with me? How did I turn into the guy from WILL AND GRACE?

Good comics of the month: Chip Zdarsky's PRISON FUNNIES. Nothing says laughter like anal rape jokes and a character named "Johnny Arson."

I'm dying here. See you soon.

INSERT FOOT

LATE NIGHT BLOCK: NIGHT'S PLUTONIAN SHORE

10 Pages written and copyrighted by Neil Kleid

Page Three (5 PANELS)

PANEL ONE
INT. HOUSE DRAWING ROOM- NIGHT
Davies peeks through the chain-linked door.

DAVIES: THERE ARE SOME MAJOR PLOT HOLES IN THE SECOND ACT -

PANEL TWO
Reverse shot - Davies stares through the crack at the visored helmet of what appears to be a space alien. Sleek, sloping and futuristic, the helmet reflects Davies' shocked expression back at us. The creature is half turned, as if Davies opened the door at the moment it turned away. Behind it, we can see a second similarly dressed creature. They are both, by the by, standing on the surface of a dry, cracked, rocky terrain... as if we opened a door to Mars. Or Pluto. The first creature's hand is half raised, about to tap once more.

PANEL THREE
Davies slams the door shut, locking the chain tighter.

PANEL FOUR
He leans against the door, breathing heavily. The tapping begins anew.

SFX: TAP TAP TAP

DAVIES: ...WHO... WHO ARE YOU? WHAT DO YOU WANT?

DAVIES: ... GO AWAY!

PANEL FIVE
Close up on Davies. Sweat rolls down his brow and his eyes are wide, staring over his shoulder. The tapping has stopped.

DAVIES: ...HELLO?

DAVIES: ARE YOU.. IS ANYONE STILL THERE?


July 24, 2003
I am the First Lady of Comics

OPEN MOUTH

Now that BROWNSVILLE is done, I seem to have taken upon myself this lethargic, almost procrastinating work ethic. Maybe it's a result of really driving to finish the script and now my brain's looking for an excuse to slow down. What I really need to do, though, is bust my ass on the drawing end again. I finished lettering the COKE story for RANT #3 and tonight I start lettering SUBURBIA... that should finish the interior of RANT and then alls I need to worry about is the cover. I need to gear up to finish NINETY CANDLES so that IF the Xeric goodness comes through, I can simply cart it off to the printer without a peep.

Next project after BROWNSVILLE? It really depends. I'm in the middle of a pitch/project pimp mode... I have the "secret project" in with it's respective publisher and if I get the go-ahead, everything else gets pushed aside so I can get those scripts done. I also have to start putting thr BROWNSVILLE and DUMB LUCK packets together to show around at SPX, as well as THE FIFTIES. I'm a lil wary about starting new projects before the current ones are settled and before I figure out what the hell I need to work on next. COFFIN, the novel, is soooo on the back burner as is CREATIVITY, the next page a day cartoon story. I want to gear up to start writing THE BIG KAHN by the time SPX is in the books so that I can have the first issue FINISHED by October/November. Of course, this is all assuming life and other work don't get in the way, dig?

The other big project is getting back into shape. Too many comments have been made, and I think it'd help the fatigue I'm feeling lately (well, that and not writing til 2 am!)... I want to do the regular three time a week crosstrainer routine with abs and weights tossed in. Tonight I'll do 45 minutes- an hour cardio and then lift for a half hour... that'll do me right. It'd be nice to lose ten-fifteen pounds by SPX. The problem is... I'm no diet guy. I like to eat... so it's a matter of balancing it all... back to the 2 glasses of water before each meal trick.

Had a good meeting at MoCCA last night. I dig their new, er, digs alot... the BROAD APPEAL exhibit is coming down and I got to check out some nice work by Becky Cloonan, Raina Telgemeier, Miss, Jenny and assorted female cartoonists. Ed Mathews and Evan Forsch showed to meet with the MoCCA folks and I, and we discussed some ways to help bolster future shows and events... we agree that we need to keep the art fest in the Puck Building... but perhaps moving the panels to the upstairs rooms or to the Angelika might help clear space so that we dont get tooo crowded down in the exhibitor areas. The anthology is a good idea, but we need to find a way to make it pay for itself... oh, plus we commented on gallery shows and draw offs as ways to raise a lil swag.

Ed, Evan and Ed's boy Matt headed to McCarthy's after for alkeehol and food. There's something about cute blonde Irish barmaids that makes my heart sing and my pants smaller.

Zooming around the web, here's a few stupid items people are jabbering about in the comical book world:

Over at Comicon, you can either explain to some guy named "ScooterDoom" why George Perez isn't god and Jim Lee isn't a hack.

In the PULSE! section, check out character sketches from Marvel's upcoming 1602 book by Gaiman and Kubert.

Discuss Craig Thompson's BLANKETS at The Comics Journal boards right after chiming in about black and white comics.

Over at his forum, Brian Wood has put up an ad for he and Becky Cloonan's upcoming DEMO series.

There's a big ol' Alt/Franchise comix discussion going on at Jeff Mason's Alternative Forum, spearheaded by Dean "Franks n' Beans" Haspiel.

Scott Morse's BAREFOOT SERPENT is out and apparently the dudes at moviepoopshoot.com have no idea how to review it.

There's more out there. but I gotta get a lil work done.


INSERT FOOT


LATE NIGHT BLOCK: NIGHT'S PLUTONIAN SHORE

10 Pages written and copyrighted by Neil Kleid

Page Two (5 PANELS)

PANEL ONE
INT. HOUSE DRAWING ROOM- NIGHT
An atmospheric shot of the room we just spied on - the man, one FENTON DAVIES, pores over his ledgers and books under the shadows of portraits and statuettes. The mantle is lined with writing awards and there's a small bust of Pallas resting against what appears to be an Oscar. The bookcases are packed with classics such as Poe, Faulkner and Hemingway but we also see tomes by Robert McKee, Joseph Campbell, Syd Field and Pauline Kael. Stacks of videocassettes rest next to a small computer desk on which we see scripts, reels and stacks of post it notes. Davies has his head down as he makes a note in the book he's reading.

PANEL TWO
Davies lifts his head slightly, eyebrow raised to the door behind him as a dull tapping intrudes upon the quiet scene.

SFX: TAP TAP TAP...

PANEL THREE
he turns completely in his plush chair, now facing the door. He places the book aside.

SFX: TAP TAP

PANEL FOUR
Reverse shot - we're staring at the foreboding oaken door, framed with decorative friezework and two small candles on either side. A coat hangs on a hook to the left of the door.

DAVIES: YES...?

DAVIES: IS SOMEONE THERE?

PANEL FIVE
Davies heads to the door and places his hand on the doorknob. The darkness creep in and play up his spine and swallow the bookcases. Something flits by overhead - a passing shadow or a thought best forgotten.

SFX: TAP TAP TAP

DAVIES: I'M COMING, I'M COMING... CEASE THAT TAPPING.

DAVIES: IS THAT YOU, HENDERSON? I'M NOT QUITE FINISHED WITH THE SCRIPT YET...


July 23, 2003
NIGHT'S PLUTONIAN SHORE, PAGE ONE

INSERT FOOT

LATE NIGHT BLOCK: NIGHT'S PLUTONIAN SHORE

10 Pages written and copyrighted by Neil Kleid

Page One (3 PANELS)

PANEL ONE
Dark panel. Title.

CAP:
NIGHT'S PLUTONIAN SHORE

CAP:
"Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore..."

PANEL TWO
Large shot - an old, forbidding house set back on a black hill. Gates crumble in the foreground and the hill conceals all forms of tangled shrubbery and stonework. The night is clear and the moon bright- the house, a broken, looming creature cast in masonry and ebon shadow jars against the calm, serene night's sky. Far above, in the heavens. we can see stars shining... one faintly glimmering more than its sisters. Curtains obscure the house's stained windows... all except for one arcing window on the right of the panel. Light shines out from it's gated portal, drawing our eye. The overall effect is partly Orson Welle's Xanadu from the beginning of CITIZEN KANE and partly every generic haunted house that graced the frames of old Scooby Doo cartoons.

PANEL THREE
Pull in on the lit window. Perhaps the frame should angle a bit, lending a skewed sense to the viewer. Through the closed window, we can see a high backed chair set behind a large oak wood desk. A man in his late thirties - thin and stretched, as Tolkein once wrote of Gollum, with fine receding hair. He's dressed for bed - a robe drawn over his body. He's poring over a thick tome.


A message from Larry Young

OPEN MOUTH

Larry Young, Publisher of AIT-PlanetLar, posted the following message to internet sites this morning:

"You guys have all read of the ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY comic coverage, yes? I've heard that it's going to continue through the rest of the year, every six weeks. Of course, this is excellent news, but the magazine needs to keep hearing from people... so they know that when they show comics the love, comics shows them the love back.
You all know my first job out of college was for a tabloid magazine? There was an editorial section called "My Name Is Mudd" that nearly every reader in the state absolutely hated. I once asked the publisher why the feature continued and she said it was because the columnist got 50 letters a week, while the REST OF THE MAGAZINE got ten or twelve if that.

"There's nothing like it when you know people are paying attention," she had said.

This past week there was an excellent review of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen by a writer named Tom Russo, as well as a really nice re-design.

If you like seeing comics in EW, write to

and tell them so. "

My letter:

"To the folks involved with the EW Comic Book section,

My name is Neil Kleid. I'm a graphic designer in New York City, a man who enjoys his rock and roll, pop culture, scotch and sports. I spend my days working in the halls of corporate America and I spend my nights soaking up culture and nightlife in clubs, museums, parks and concert halls. I'm an average joe with average dreams - much like the type of guy who might pick up a copy of ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY to check out on my lunch break and then pass on to pop culture minded friends because of the MATRIX article or punk rock feature they might like.

Oh, yeah - and I read comics books.

I'm writing this letter (quite possibly the first "letter to the editor" I've ever written) in response to your well handled coverage of the comic book medium in the past year. The time and effort put into the comics section really makes it shine and it's wonderful to see the way every genre is represented - from superhero books to slice of life to straight adventure. One wouldn't expect to see a non-corporate book like Jeff Parker's INTERMAN in a mainstream entertainment magazine and when one does, it offers hope for the comics industry, its creators and publishers and up and coming hopefuls such as myself.

So thank you, ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY. You're giving me more and more reasons to share you with my pop culture minded friends.

Neil Kleid
New York, NY"


Where's yours? Help Comic Books out, won't you?


And lo, the angels sing

OPEN MOUTH

Wednesday, July 23rd 2003. 1:53 A.M.

196 comics book pages.

329 Microsoft Word pages.

BROWNSVILLE is finished.

Time to email it to the artist, Jake Allen.


July 22, 2003
Lunch... I think I love you

OPEN MOUTH

Having some troubles with creative get up and go.

It's a shame that I really don't get to start working on comics until around 9-10 at night. By that time I've eaten, maybe gone to the gym and am already thinking of rest or sleep... so it's no shock that by the time I sit to write or draw, I'm not really motivated. I also think I need to scale back the amount of work I'm planning on doing... one or two scripts at a given time plus one or two drawing projects... nothing more.

Thing is, it's extended to graphic design, too. My job isn't the most creatively challenging job in the world - sure the opportunity is there, but on the average it's alot of production work. Like today...I worked on a Playbill for a production company and while I hacked out a nice design, I'm not winning awards over here. When I was at Comedy, even the production work was creatively challengin. My yen for new and different layouts has gone... perhaps a peruse through the DESIGNER'S COOKBOOK is in order, huh?

Or maybe it's time to get back into school.

BROWNSVILLE, by the way, should be finished tonight (the script, that is). I wrote through page 185 last night and I'm pleased with where it went. I thought it'd be a pretty blah ending and nin interesting, but I found a nice wrap up for Allie and his family (both of them) and all that's left to do is send Lepke up the river and write the epilogue. Jake tells me I should be getting the pages this weekend so I'll have to put a proposal packet together soon for SPX along with RANT 3 (which I'm starting to finish) and HEARTBREAK (waiting on the pages). I think I've decided to finish LNB #3 after the con... especially since, this is my SPX to-do list:

- BROWNSVILLE packet
- RANT COMICS #3
- THE ART OF HEARTBREAK
- print 50 more copies of LATE NIGHT BLOCK #1
- print 25 copies of SMUT PEDDLER
- THE FIFTIES packet
- NINETY CANDLES packet for publishers

As far as RANT 3 goes, I finished the sixth and final page of the NEW COKE story last night and need to letter pages 5 and 6. I also have to letter the SUBURBIA pages - I cannot wait to see people's reaction to this one... of course, then I have to finish the second half for the eventual RANT COMICS #4. I also need to prep and figure out how I'm printing the cover... I suppose I'll do it here through work... digital printing is pretty cheap. Once all is said and done, I'll post some samples on the site.

Finished reading by Glen David Gold based on Ed Irvin's recommendation. My love for historical fiction grows greater each day and this book only served to stir my passion up more. Wonderful book about magic, conviction, murder and dedication set during the Harding presidential era. Gold's Carter is a determined man, almost too dedicated, and the author's familiarity with the world of vaudeville, stage magic and illusion really helps sell this novel. I find myself wanting to explore the worlds of Houdini and Howard Thurston now... and perhaps a project based on Houdini would be fun... though I think it's been handled already via the vehicle of Michael Chabon's ESCAPIST.

I understand GANGS OF NEW YORK is out on DVD already... I'll be renting that shortly though I admit I'm a bit wary. From the reviews and writings I've read on the movie, it seems that what Hollywood did was take what is essentially a great textbook about the early gang system and political structure of New York and turned it into a "Titanic-style" film that simply disappoints. Still... it'd be interesting to see if Monk Eastman or Paul Kelly makes an appearance...though I believe the story focuses on the draft riots and the Dead Rabbits and Five Pointers.

Bought some comics this week... I quite liked FORMERLY KNOWN AS THE JUSTICE LEAGUE as well as LOVE FIGHTS #2 (though that last page gets me a bit worried). PLANETARY/BATMAN was a fun non committal read but what really got me was Marc Bell's SHRIMPY AND PAUL AND FRIENDS. Deep and meaningful under the guise of cute and whimsical... the array of almost similar characters interacting in a world where the letter 's' is added to the end of singular nouns is strangely inviting and appealing to the mature creative within. Really... I have to look for more of Bell's work...

INSERT FOOT

Clenchspeak revisited:

Grind tugged and churned at the conveyors, brow furrowed in knitted tapestries of jagged skin. Grind's sluggish tongue drifted across the filthy, scraping, rows of sparking teeth. Endless, unforgiving soldiers jumped and splayed down the belt, poking each other with their phallic instruments of destruction, creating raw, red welts of paints and rivers of metallic silver blood. Shattering, the soldiers piled up before Grind's nimble fingers, forming a mound of childlike corpses. The bright red stench of death hung in the air, causing Grind's nose and stomach to constrict, capturing breath like hunted game within the deep, brack bowels of night. Grind sighed deep, ignoring oblivion's smell, and with a shuddering, chundering groan, started to rebuild the soldiers and as a result, offering a kind of incomplete reincarnation.


"maw... get th' syrup!"

http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/Central/07/21/offbeat.flat.kansas.reut/index.html

""While driving across the American Midwest, it is common to hear travelers remark, 'This state is as flat as a pancake,'" they wrote in their report, published in the Annals of Improbable Research. "Simply put, our results show that Kansas is considerably flatter than a pancake."

oh, stan... for god's sake...mind OUT of gutter...

http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/TV/07/21/playboy.tv.reut/index.html

"Hefner, an icon of the American sexual revolution, will be the mastermind behind a sexy, sophisticated squad of Playmates that will fight the "enemies of the democracy" in "Hef's Superbunnies," the cartoon series to be developed by Stan Lee. "


July 21, 2003
"Pamphlet" Comics

OPEN MOUTH

Somone just directed me to this great thread about "pamphlet comics" at the Comics Journal website. Good thoughts from folks like Peter Bagge, James Kochalka, Tom Hart and more:

http://www.tcj.com/messboard/ubb/Forum2/HTML/001826.html

For what it's worth, apart from the storage issues I'll dig "pamphlets" 'til the day I die. I'm a big fan of the graphic novel/trade format, don't get me wrong - there's something about being able to sit down to the entire story in one bit... but the "pamphlet" (and I agree, the term lacks grace) was what got me into comics, and in my opinion is the purest form of "the comic book" you can find, unless you distill it back to broadsides and comic strips in the papers. Like Tom Hart says, sure I know there'll be a DROP CEILING collection once it's wrapped up in Nick Bertozii'z RUBBER NECKER, but that won't stop me from picking up the singles. Little extras like notes from the artist, ads (and Bertozzi's are always clever) and letters are part in parcel of what makes the comic reading experience enjoyable. My only request would be to see MORE of the "DVD extra features" you see in trades and OGNS collections be put into the back of the singles, like Dean Haspiel's process (as seen on his website) in the back of a BILLY DOGMA trade or color theory or time/panel discussions inserted into Matt Madden's A FINE MESS. That's why I dug on Eddie Campbell's EGOMANIA - it was a "pamphlet comics" with so much more... it truly was a "comic magazine."

We need new terms, I think.

Anyway, go check out the thread and mix it up with the big boys.I'm having fun simply reading.


It's never good when you pee blood

OPEN MOUTH

Sweet Swithins, what a weekend. Yeah, it isn't easy to blog when you're trying not to die. Sick sick sick... ate something that didn't agree with me or I've got SARS, but whatever it is, my body is falling apart faster than an IKEA SUV.

Got up LATE today - overslept like I knew I would - and ran to work... not doing much today apart from fighting for a higher raise. I FUCKING KNEW my boss would undercut me... I really don't want to hit the pavements again...but I can't work for this shit. God knows I need health insurance... but I need money too.

Pushed off work all weekend so it's Xeric PLUS finishing BROWNSVILLE PLUS RANT #3 this week... gonna have to squeeze it in with the MoCCA meeting on Wednesday and other decadence.

San Diego 2003 is in the books and DC Comics has officially taken over the industry. This exclusive contract thing is amazing... wish someone would offer me one. At least that way i could freaking get some medicine.

Gail Simone to write JLA. Waid to write more DC. Johnston's JULIUS. Those are the things that caught my eye re:announcements. I suppose Marvel is saving theirs for Chicago in a few weeks. Something tells me the shit's gonna fly.

Did I mention I like cookies?

http://www.grudge-match.com/History/cookie-keebler.shtml


INSERT FOOT

Not in a vindictive mood so I simply offer a bit of advice:

Just because she's a midget hooker doesn't mean she's worth half price.


July 18, 2003
COOKIETHON 2003: CRUMBLED

OPEN MOUTH

COOKIETHON REPORT: DAY TWO

Got lonely and morose. Ate all the Oreos. Cookiethon 2003 is a complete washout.

Or success. Depends how you see things.

Sat down and watched THE BLUES BROTHERS again last night and it occurred to me that cool.. i mean REAL COOL is a bit skewed these days. Why are things like sticking giant pylons through your face, jumping off cliffs with dirt bikes and other hyperkineticbrainbegone activities considered the height of cool? When did cool=Xtreme. I always figured that cool was a state of nirvana - the "i dont care to be cool" cool perfected by old screen stars and jazz legends, each simply doing their thing. I was reading Tom Shale's LIVE FROM NEW YORK in which David Spade (in regards to Chris Farley's continuous aping of legend John Belushi) said that Farley didn't HAVE to imitate anyone to be funny - he simply WAS. Look at a guy like Belushi - he wasn't following anyone... he was just being BELUSHI. And damn the man who had a problem with that.

Was talking to a pal this week and we made the comment that by the time you get into 28-32 years, you're past trying to build up a false sense of who you are. You become the person you're planning on being for the rest of your life. I think I've gotten somewhat past the point of trying to please everyone - this is Neil, this is what I do...take me or leave me. I have friends in their mid-30s who STILL say things to me like "well, so and so was at this party so I couldn't be there" or "well, I don't want people to think i'm uncoll, so I'll..etc"... dude just be Belushi.

No - strike that. Scratch that. Be You.

If you're a comics dude(tte) like me then you know this week is the Big Ol' Get Your Geek Con out West in San Diego. Everyone from Stan Lee to Joss Whedon to Chris Staros to Bendis to David Law is there... and of course... I am here.

But at least I get to read about what I'm missing. Woo!

Says here, Mabel, that there's gonna be a SUPERMAN/THUNDERCATS crossover.

Saywha?

It also says that Stan Lee is gonna team up with Hugh Hefner on a comics project?

Come again?

Hmm... check out all them pictures of stormtroopers...

...

..bring on SPX!

Speaking of which, I'm a lazy fuck. I have yet to start completing RANT #3 nor have I sent out the Xeric submission like I wanted to... Odds are it'll hit the postbox on Monday. Waiting on a quote from WestCan Printing so I can complete all the financially sound stuff. Everything else is packaged and a-waitin'. Jamesmith is hustling through pages for HEARTBREAK, so at least that's on schedule... plus he and I are tossing around the ol' comics horsehide, shmoozing about a new project we may toss together like so much bile and candy. BROWNSVILLE is basically wrapped. Jake should be sending pages my way soonest... and wonder of all wonders! I heard from my BIT CITY arteest and he says he'll have the first 5 pages for me to see asap! Yee-la!

Thank god for Shabbos, though. It's the Lord's Day.

Sleep.

INSERT FOOT

Hop on Pop! It's... it's Dr. Seuss -inspired fanfic!


HA HA HA HA HA HA!

LABRYINTH:

http://www.marysia.com/labyrinth/fanfic/drseuss.txt

STAR TREK:

http://members.aol.com/ShayneyL/seuss.htm

LORD OF THE RINGS

http://www.teemings.com/extras/lotr/d/drseuss.html

And apparently, there used to be a Les Miz version...but it's not linking... Hell, I'm just weirded out about the fact that there's Les Miz fanfic at ALL.

http://www.mv.com/users/ang/fanfic/r.html

"Msr ValJean... I've hunted you across these years... because I am truly... in love with you..."

"Oh, Javert... chain me up like a slave again!"

... yikes.


July 17, 2003
How YOU can help the MoCCA Arts Festival

OPEN MOUTH

I encourage any and all out there to try to attend this or email MoCCA asking how they can help:

Make Yours MoCCA!

Please join us on Wednesday, July 23rd at the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art Headquarters for an open discussion about how you can contribute to MoCCA events, volunteering opportunities and the future of the MoCCA Arts Festival. Topics to be broached include public relations, gallery/event
ideas and the possible formation of a MoCCA Comics Anthology.

Wednesday, July 23rd, 7:30 pm
MoCCA Headquarters
32 Union Square East, Suite 600 (take the north/left elevators)
New York, NY 10003

We are contacting you in the hopes that we can avail ourselves of your expertise and would be thrilled with your involvement in any capacity. We welcome your feedback and comments about the museum.
The Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art is chartered by The State Education Department, organized and operated as defined in Section § 501(c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code.


COOKIETHON: DAY ONE

OPEN MOUTH

I know many of you are glued to your internet monitors looking for the latest news from San Diego's Comicon 2003... but are you aware that there's another convention going on right here in wonderful New York? It's the COOKIE-THON 2003!

I'll try and report ALL WEEKEND LONG if I'm not too busy stuffing my face with delicious ginger snaps!

COOKIE-THON 2003 Report: Day 1
Last year during Cookie-Thon 2002 in New York, Keebler made a surprising announcement, revealing they had secured the rights to bake cookies based on the hit television series "What's Happenin'." This year, Keebler decided to go one further, this time revealing at the show that they've secured the rights to bake cookies based on much loved television show "Good Times."

"Good Times," starring cultural icon Actor Jimmy Walker, follows the day to day affairs of a loving family in the projects whose mother's name is Florida. The show became the most-watched original series television history to feature a young Janet Jackson and the most-watched program to repeatedly air "special episodes."

"We're all fans of Good Times' at Keebler," Elf in Chief Chocky said in a release. "Every time we talked about other potential TV licenses to follow up What's Happenin', 'Good Times' was at the top of the list. Getting the chance to play in the sandbox created by the show’s amazing writers, directors and cast is a dream come true. And you know these delectable cookies will be nothing short of DYNO-MITE!"

At press time no bakers had been mentioned attached to the product line. Expect an announcement shortly.

"Good Times" cookies will debut in late 2003.


RELEASE:

FRIENDS OF ENTENMANN'S TELLS THE PULSE
CookieThon 2003 is on its way. With a preview review day beginning Wednesday, July 16 through to Sunday, July 20, Friends of Entenmann's (the organization dedicated to raising the profile of delicious cakes and pies) will be on site...and we want to see you there!

THE ENTENMANN'S BOOTH: July 16-20, #1835 Friends of Entenmann's President Olaf Steuben and past President "Pop" McDougal (and more) will be on hand at the Entenmann's booth throughout the convention. Here's your chance to pick up a copy of the brand-new Friends of Entenmann's -NY comics catalog BIG APPLE PIE, which has already started receiving rave reviews, or other cool Entenmann's stuff--or just talk baked goods! You can also join or renew membership, which is open to women and men, boys and girls. Ask about our new student rate!

THE 2003 ENTENMANN'S AWARDS: Thursday, July 17, 8 p.m. This year the annual ENTENMANN'S AWARDS will be held at THE BITTER CONGOER'S nightclub, in its gorgeous upstairs lounge and living room in New York's Upper West Side District (750 Columbus Ave., 96th and 97th Streets; rantcomics.com). The party begins whenever we damn well please. on Thursday, July 17. Categories include the Delicious Cake Hall of Fame, Donut of the Year, the Sara Lee Award for Best New Pastry and Volunteer of the Year. Everyone is invited to come and find out who the winners are, and socialize with fellow fans and professionals. Non-members will be asked to make a $5 donation at the door; Friends of Entenmann's members get in free. There will be a cash bar (21 years legal drinking age). THE BITTER CONGOER'S is famous for its "Mickey's" and other drinks, and The Bitter Congoer's has also relaxed the dress code so you can wear your Friends of Entenmann's or superhero T-shirts. Complimentary dessert refreshments will be served. Once again, Entenmann's thanks the generous Awards sponsors: Keebler Inc., Sara Lee, Inc., Nabisco, Inc., Stella D'Oro, Inc., Pepperidge Farms, Cookie Monster and The Bitter Congoer's . It's going to be a great party, so mark it on your calendar!

THE 2003 ENTENMANN'S ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING: Sunday, July 20, 11 a.m. Once again, CookieThon 2003 has graciously provided a room at the convention so Entenmann's can hold its Annual General Meeting (Sunday, July 20, 11 a.m.-12:30 p.m.] 11a.m.-12:30 p.m., Room 7B). All current members of Friends of Entenmann's are invited to attend the Friends of Entenmann's Annual General Meeting. Here you'll get an update on what Entenmann's has been up to throughout the year; hear about projects like our Free Pop 'Ems initiative, Big Apple Pie catalog and Entenmann's Awards; be provided with an opportunity to express your thoughts on how Entenmann's can rise and improve; and you'll also vote for your new Board of Directors 2003-2004. We need your input! Visit the Friends of Entenmann's booth on the convention floor for more information or to join and/or renew membership prior to the meeting. Membership is open to women and men, boys and girls. See you there!

INSERT FOOT


"did you say you wanted that coffee ...HOT?"

http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/West/07/17/offbeat.coffee.ap/index.html

"Owner Tony Nunez believes city officials are unfairly targeting his coffee shop, Sugars, blaming it for parking hassles in the family oriented neighborhood and alleging that the mobster-themed cafe is a den of prostitution. "

goes to show... you can't trust anyone with button eyes

http://www.cnn.com/2003/TRAVEL/07/17/gun.teddy.bear/index.html

"We are critized a lot for screening grannies and babies: 'Why are they checking this? My two-year old isn't a terrorist.' This underscores the need to screen everyone and everything," said Johnson.


Feelin' Mah Oats

OPEN MOUTH

The human body's a wonderful thing. Feed it enough pills and medication and you can do hand flips in hours.I was feelin' like the back end of thirty mile hike this morning and now I'm ready to take on the world. Coulda had something to with the fact that I just went rock n' roll skating with a pretty girl tonight. Pretty girls should be bottled and sold next to Robotussin.

It's amazing, this rock and roller skating thing. On one hand you have the West Village hipster community out there suckin' back cosmos and shaking it for all it's worth, and on the other hand you're faced with the er, elderly folk that you can tell were avid roller disco skaters back when disco was king. EVERYWHERE you looked... leg warmers, headbands, body hair and mutton chops. Surreal.

Sitting here sucking back some soda and wishing I could be in San Diego right now for the big ol' Convention. Never been out West and it'd be swell to check out the doings at least once. Also, there's TONS of folks I'd like to hang out with that odds are I won't meet for a while... Antony Johnston, Dabb, Lea Hernandez and more. It's gonna be a rough weekend getting the news and pictures... but I'll be at SPX in a month so SCREW THEM ALL.

Wait... mutton chops?

Brian Wood, on his forum, asked if anyone out there knows of some off the flagwaving, traditionl path war books. Books that cover the last forty or so years (post WW2) specifically... and I have to say I'm intrigued as well. I just finished BLACKHAWK DOWN and would love to read something else along those lines. Anyone got any recommendations? Let's get our war on.

INSERT FOOT


The TV show 'OZ' is set in a maximum security prison (Oswald Maximum) in which the prison community is split into different races and religions. There are the Muslims, the Italians, The Gangstas, The Aryans, the Latinos and so on. There are also what is known as "prags." "Prag" is the nicer terminology for what is known as "prison bitch." In the first season, we watch as Tobias Beecher, a regular guy who's in Oz for manslaughter (he killed a girl while driving under the influence) gets slowly turned into a prag by Vern Schillinger, leader of the Aryan Brotherhood. Beecher eventually breaks away from Vern and the Aryans and becomes somewhat feared for a while, but in the end, he's always a prag.

Sad thing about being a prag in Oz is everywhere you go folks know you're one. Sooner or later a prag takes it from an Italian. A Gangsta. An Aryan. A Latino. Eventually, you're just getting screwed over by the whole damn world.

There are days when I feel exactly like that.


July 16, 2003
Owie...

OPEN MOUTH

Burny burny head. Stomach feels like it's been kicked in by a mule.

No work for Neil today. Off to medicate and back to sleep.

...

Heh. Mule.


July 15, 2003
Magen and Murder

OPEN MOUTH

So Judd Winick has a new DC book coming out entitled CAPER. I placed a link to it in my morning post but just in case you can't be bothered:

http://newsarama.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=4594

The book is essentially a three part crime series with the first part (with art by the amazing Farel Dalrymple) focusing on two hitmen in San Francisco. In Winick's words:

"“The first arc, ‘Market Street,’ takes place in turn of the century San Francisco, and was inspired by Murder Incorporated - the Jewish mob,” Winick explained. “I've always found it fascinating. Jews aren't necessarily thought of as gangsters and I felt it could make a good story. I put it in San Francisco because the history is so rich and the characters are just amazing. Many of the characters in ‘Market Street’ are historical, as are some of the events – it’s a blend of fact and fiction."

Now, that alone is enough to rev my engine. Winick also provided with Newsarama with the cover art, depicting a hitman in his death throes, the trail of blood leading away from his body pooling into a Star of David (Magen David). To me, the image is visually striking and sucks you in to see what's kept between the pages. It both repels and intrigues the viewer like a train wreck and does a wonderful job of stirring interest in a project that is about "crime" "murder" "Jews" and "blood."

But offend?

If you scroll down the page into the "gutters" of Newsarama where folks have their say, you get comments such as:

"I found the cover image very offensive, I know you try to provoke to get free publicity, but it's just tasteless, and unjustified. there are other ways to sell an "artsy" comic. you should think twice before you put one's national symbol in a pool of blood. I don't have to remind you about the "extra" connections and reference you're making."

As well as:

"Far too many times in our history has the Star of David been bathed in blood for no other reason than for hatred and prejudice. Granted, this is not what the story is about, but for someone who is not Jewish to be offended, I simply cannot imagine how those who are Jewish feel.... While this may or may not be an excellent story (yep, it sure does sound like a very near copy, or homage if you will, of Once Upon a Time in America), that cover image needs to be changed. It's completely inappropriate compared to the story that's been described in the article."

First of all, it's obviously the above poster has never actually seen Once Upon a Time in America.

As to "imagining what those who are Jewish feel"...

I am an Orthodox Jew. I make no secret of it. I got to Shul, I keep Kosher. My grandparents were in the camps and my Dad hails from Israel.

Do I find this image offensive? Simply because it depicts the Magen David in blood? Now let's see... it's a book about Jewish killers. Are they supposed to be pure and clean, not getting their hands stained with blood?

Jews and death are no strangers, and with that comment I am not referring to the horrors of the European purge. Look at the turn of the century -men like Monk Eastman killing simply to round his victim number to an even fifty and a giant like Albert Rothstein who routinely stole, conned and killed those in his way. Pick up Rich Cohen's TOUGH JEWS and you'll be bombarded with evil acts perpetrated by the staunchest of Jews - Allie Tannenbaum garroting men in their sleep, Harry Strauss knifing a man in a movie theatre, Louis Lepke systematically wiping out half the Jewish mob so no one could testify against him. Jewish hands SOAKED in blood. Jewish fists brought it forth. You can even motor back to Egyptian days when Moses killed an overseer with his bare hands for striking a slave or when Yehuda and Shimon leveled the city of Shchem to save their sister. We are not a "clean as whistle" people. Jews have had their share of atrocities as well - from the Lower East Side to the Middle East. No, the back and forth in Israel and surrounding nations are not set up to proclaim the Jews as the white hat goody two shoes we'd like them to be, folks. Our guns and forces have spilled their fair share of innocent blood in the name of righteous justice.

So offended? How can I be offended? It's so appropriate.

Judd's story is about JEWISH GANGSTERS. Men, who in the twenties and thirties along with Italians and Irish, ran this town into the ground. Gunplay and explosions were visible on every avenue and Brooklyn wasn't completely safe until...well, it still isn't. But I defy you to take Judd and Farels' cover to Brownsville or the Lower East Side and explain to the residents there who can almost remember the sharks and sharpies of that dead era... odds are they'll say it isn't offensive enough.

Rich Cohen, in his wonderful book TOUGH JEWS, explains that the reason Jews today can be so offended at the slightest hint of what might possibly be considered Anti Semitism is due to the massive victimization thrust on our generation by those who survived the horrors of World War Two. To paraphrase, our backs and ears are hounded by the close-yet-distant tom toms beating from our dead ancestors: six million, six million. WE were never privy to witnessing the "tough jews" like Lepke, Allie, Bugsy and Lansky. By the time we got them they were legends, TV stars, stories in books eclipsed by the reality of the numbers on arms before us.

But they were there. It was real. Jews had blood on their hands - innocent blood.

And to hide that or claim it never happened is wrong.

"Completely inappropriate compared to the story that's been described in the article"?

I suggest you read the article again. And then maybe pick up a history book instead of popping in a DVD.

Neil Kleid


Goin' to the Dogs

OPEN MOUTH

God, I'm tired.

I forgot what the grind is like...waking early... taking trains. 10 days vacation lulls you into this false sense of "i dont give a shit" and the moment reality intrudes - WHAM! Bye bye sleep.

Finished work LATE last night on the Secret project and sent it off via this newfangled electronic post. I'm pretty happy with it...but I'm sure a few edits and some streamlining can be done. I'm trying to harness that epic movie storytelling vibe and the only obstacle is that it's a story with four main characters.... so the POV is a bit misdirected. But it's a team book, so that's to be expected, i suppose.

Waiting on some financial info for the Xeric submission - WestCan's a pretty helpful printer... would that I could say the same about Diamond's quality of service... I keep getting shunted to assistants and answering machines.

Wish I had something of substance to write here but my brain is honestly fried. Some days you eat the words and some days the words eat you.

....


that didn't even make any sense.

here - from the ideaspace department... it seems that I'm not the only one who thinks the Jewish mob is worth writing about:

http://newsarama.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=4594

WINICK PULLS A CAPER

“The first arc, ‘Market Street,’ takes place in turn of the century San Francisco, and was inspired by Murder Incorporated - the Jewish mob,” Winick explained. “I've always found it fascinating. Jews aren't necessarily thought of as gangsters and I felt it could make a good story."

Sigh. All my ideas are done by someone else first. My kingdom for a publisher.

I can see that my DVD spending frenzy is going to kick into overdrive:

http://www.animatedbliss.com/news.asp?TID=649

"They're the crown princes of animation. They're the international ambassadors of cartoon comedy. They're the fabulously funny friends you grew up with! And now, 56 of the very best animated shorts starring the very wackiest Warner Bros. cartoon characters have been rounded up on DVD for the first time ever."

Most people don't know this but I'm a HUGE Looney Tunes fan. I've seen SPACE JAM more times than I can count and it wasn't for Jordan, i can tell you that. I'm really looking forward to the new movie. I'll probably pick up the STRANGER THAN FICTION set... i'm assuming it's got Duck Dodgers on there and with any luck, it'll have the classic Gremlin short.

Now if only someone wised up and put the Flintstones on DVD with the Gazoo episodes...

And if that weren't enough, Captain Wacky Zack Smith tells folks at the Larry Young Forum that heaven has reached your local DVD selling establishment:

http://www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/read.php?ID=6723


"Remo is trained by Chiun, an elderly Korean master of the art of Shinanju, whose martial arts supremacy allows him to dodge bullets, walk on water, and kill with a tap of his fingertips. Remo's target in this movie is George Grove, a defense contractor and weapons manufacturer whose products are poorly-constructed monstrosities which tend to kill their users. He is also receiving federal funds to produce "Star Wars"-style SDI satellites which, quite frankly, don't work."

Doesn't sound, though, like the presentation is all that impressive. I dug this movie - my dad hooked me into it and I've always appreciated it... but I don't know... is it worth having an awfully recreated DVD? Gah. Stoopid pan and scan.

Off to the races.


INSERT FOOT

so... many.... jokes....

http://www.brucelowy.com/kasha.htm


Sometimes society exceeds my wildest expectations.

...

oh, that's it for today. I can't top that.

Go look at it again.


July 14, 2003
Clenchspeak

INSERT FOOT

Stomach turned down the wrong passage and ended up knee deep in bile. Grinding, slithering tendrils of intestine wrapped around Stomach's knobbly elbows as the white-frightened organ fought for breath amid the gore-splattered vault of human excrement. A scream, a hoarse shuddering scream and Stomach's mouth was laden with the half-chewed entrails of those best left forgotten. Biting on words never spoken, Stomach struggled to keep down the rush of viscuous pain and intangible grief intermingled with liquid death. Under once, up twice, Stomach sought to clear the pinnacle of the chundering flood and lost to mankind's fuel and folly. Up once, down twice. Down a third time.

Under for the last.

Stomach never turned the wrong passage again.


Doldrums and desktops

OPEN MOUTH

Back to work, folks! You there...with the sunscreen...drop it slowly...vacation is over and it's back to prepping websites and setting business cards.

Man, what a great vacation - started it with Florida and family, ended it with sun, burgers and swimming. After getting back from Universal and the Sunshine State, I spent a day catching up with email and friends... it was raining and miserable (because NEIL WANTED TO GO TO THE BEACH, of course) so indoors was the keyword. Started using the building gym again and agitated the busted hand, but who cares? I'M ON VACATION. Thursday was a coup for me - called Bodie up and we caught the 11 am showing of T3 (Neil's quick review: hot Terminator booty, lame Arnold jokes, good action, great ending) and then grabbed a slice.... and decided to turn right back and catch the 3PM showing of HULK (Neil's quick review: RARGH! HULK SMASH BAD MOVIE!). I haven't pulled a double header like that since I was 12. Hit the gym again that night and caught up with an old friend for drinks. Friday was busy day, as I had to shop for Shabbos with Jen, go to the library and then jump down to Soho for a meet n' greet with a design company. Quick meeting but hopefully things'll pan out.

Shabbos was quiet... didn't talk to many folks as the vacation lag was causing me to pass out at very odd times. Had a nice dinner with Jen and her roomate, then lunch at a neighbor... and then sleeeeeeeeppppp so i could rest up for Mimi and Amira's Sweltering Night of Debauchery. Man... a party in a bar is a good idea, but inviting 500 people is NOT. Much alkeeohol and lots o' dancing was mixed in with many trips outside for air- there were more people out than in! What was great was the "late night party" where fifteen of us stuck around to close the bar with our mad salsa stylings. I think that's the first time I've closed a NYC bar! Of course, i paid for it on sunday with Hammer of Thunder Hangover... got up at 10 for the ride to Jersey where we celebrated Jeff "The Ladies Man" Klein's 30th. There's nothing like a barbecue to remove tiny little ballpeen hammers from behind your temple. I also realized that you can easily - EASILY - devour fifteen hamburgers without stopping at a bbq.... especially when topping them off with beer and fries. What was prefect though, was lounging around in Jeff's pool, a beer in one hand; burger in the other.... i so did not wanna leave.... but of course, reality calls and here I sit at my desk... writing this all out.

While I sit and surf the web, pretending to be setting up this website, I realize that you never truly appreciate your vacation while you're there. I was all fed up with my family down in orlando and this weekend all i kept saying was "i dont wanna go back to work." Last year, at Fire Island, might be the first vacation where I simply REVELED in my vacation.... and the same for yesterday's pool-beer-bbq decadence. Would that I could let the day-to-day go more often.

But as I'm here...

Work renews on the Xeric project. Tonight I print the page layout and finalize the financial info.... this has to go out in the mail by Friday - no excuses. Once done, I think i'll be able to breathe a bit better....that is, if my FREAKING ARTISTS would email me and let me know what's what. I CANNOT WAIT to see James' work on HEARTBREAK. I think this Sunday I'll track down the apropos paper for it... it's going to be beauteeful. This eve I also complete the rewrite to the new Secret Project script and email it off to the folks who matter. I'm excited about this one... if all goes well, not only will I be able to finally work on a genre I love, but people will get to read a DAMN GOOD book with DAMN GOOD art. As well, once this is out of the way, I get to put the finishing touches on the BROWNSVILLE script... getting a year long monkey off my back, and clearing the way for THE BIG KAHN.

The DUMB LUCK pages are in. Oh, snap. Andrew Krahnke is a genius. Time to get this pitch into shape for SPX.

Next week, after the Xeric work is out, I finish the pages for RANT #3. That's August project #1. I have to factor whether LNB #3 is going to wait til after SPX or not...

(right now, my boss is going on and on about her Aruba trip. Ha ha - I'm getting paid to write in my blog while you drone!)

Going to see the Boss this month I think... first concert since I was but a lad. I've only seen a few good shows in my sordid lil' life - Run DMC at Wayne comes to mind... same with the Aerosmith blowout at the Palace. Of course my favorite concert was seeing Thorogood and the Destroyers at the SilverDome when I was like, 13... i fell in love with those boozy three chords and haven't stopped. Even these days I'd rather listen to "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer" than any melodious Sinatra riff or Top 40 crapshoot. Gimme drawlin', raspy and hungover anyday. I wish he'd come out with something new though - was "Haircut his last? Anyone know?

Michael Chabon's ESCAPIST is coming to comics via Dark Horse... I wonder if this'll bring in a wave of new readers who dug KAVALIER AND CLAY? My hopes is that this brings back a wave of this "classic mysterymen" in the vein of JSA and the INVADERS rather than the glut of secret agent/shady past Wildstorm heroes we seem to be inundated with.

Marc Bell's SHRIMPY AND PAUL is finally coming out... Bell's got this great child-like whimsy in his work... the endflaps he did for ROSETTA were my fav'rit part of the anthology and I cannot wait to snap this up.

Finished HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX over the weekend... definitely the "Empire Strikes Back" of the series...darker and more angsty than its predecessors. Harry going through disassociated youth phase is a bit annoying... but the introduction to the world of Aurors and the Ministry more than balances that. I'm glad to see that they're expanding out into the "Potterverse" and away from the school. I also LOVE the fact that there's all this interconnected continuity going on around us, much like the Stephen King GUNSLINGER saga (which, by the way, is continuing in September!).

Much more to say, and I hope to keep this blog regular now that I'm back on the laxative that is daily work... back soon.


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I often envision a life alone.

Perhaps being around couples and dating friends is anti-therapeutic. Jewish religion spouts the idea of "beshert" which says that there's a chosen soulmate for every one out there. No matter how much of an ass, how repulsive to the opposite sex you are, you've got a better half. G-d does not single you out and say "you are unique in that you get NO ONE." Or so they say. I know plenty of folks who have gone their life and breadth of that life sadly, alone. Upon further study, I find that simply because one HAS a beshert, does not mean you'll ever meet said beshert. You may have already met him/her and rejected that individual for various reasons. You may be like two ships, passing in the night...and that person may even go on to date and marry another that is not their beshert (You) and then where does that leave you?

Pretty morbid thought, no?

Look, I'm young. I still have my life ahead of me. But why's it so damn hard?

Cheer me up, Hulk:

http://incrediblehulk.blogspot.com/

"HULK WENT TO THE BEACH. So, Hulk got a little sunburned. When green skin turns red, Hulk looks unpleasant. Iron Man is still laughing at Hulk."

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2003310256,00.html

"When she peeled off the green comic-book character’s ripped purple shorts, she found the two-inch manhood beneath them.Horrified Leah immediately ran to mum Kim and reported the find. And last night Kim called for a ban on the saucy toy. She said: 'A hulk with a bulk like this just shouldn’t be allowed. Considering the doll is only 12-inches tall it’s amazing how big his willy is. And it’s definitely not an extra piece of material left on by mistake.'"


Ah.... that's the stuff.

EAT MORE GAMMA.



July 10, 2003

OPEN MOUTH

Still on vacation here - got til Monday. Thought I'd be able to hang out on the beach or in the park, but wouldn't you know it, it's overcast. I have a birthday party to go to tonight (we're listening to the Philharmonic in the park... ooh la la) and I'm gonna try and cram THE HULK in before...so it should be a day.

A few quick things:

- got some great news that I can't talk about as it might kill my chances (every time I talk about a project it never happens...). Let's just say this: intrigued publisher, established artist, fun project. I outlined most of the project at the bar last night - now to type it all up, edit the script and get it to the folk it needs gettin' to. Cross dem fingers.

- Dino tells me he's sending our JACK OF HEARTS pitch over to EPIC. Hey, it's worth a shot. If this gets picked up that'll be TWO projects with artists I've been dying to work with.

- Ugh. It's like birthday hell around here. One saturday night and one on sunday. Sunday's is Jeff's b-day barbecue. so at least I know there'll be beer. And meat. And beer.

- Lifted last night for the first time in months. I"m feeling it today. Hard to do much with a shattered left hand, but I wrapped an ace bandage around it to keep it stable. Still, got a decent workout going. Now to use this free 3 day Equinox pass!

- The HOUSE OF TWELVE pages are in. Now to start talking marketing and pimping. Must to email Cheese when I get back to the grind.

- Just got DUMB LUCK (written by me and Dabb) pages in from Andrew Krahnke. They look gorgeous.. i'll try to get them up on the site for you folks (all two of you) to see.

- Speaking of Dabb, he's selling out and writing GHOSTBUSTERS and TRON. Check out http://www.88mphstudios.com for the soul searching details.

- I WANT TO GO TO SAN DIEGO.

I'm off to see Gumby, the movie...er....Hulk.

INSERT FOOT


Local stripper sues cartoon creator

http://www.news-journalonline.com/NewsJournalOnline/News/Local/03AreaEAST01070903.htm

"A local stripper has filed a lawsuit demanding an end to the new cable television show "Stripperella" that features an animated, buxom superhero basedon actress Pamela Anderson....she claims she asked Lee about the concept of Stripperella a year ago during a private dance session."

Ew.

"I can't remember much about Mr. Lee, little bits and pieces come back. You know, I meet a lot of men."

EWWWW.


July 09, 2003
Neil's (Island of) Adventure!

OPEN MOUTH

Spent the last several days down in sunny and unbearably hot Florida with the family. Hit Universal and the Islands of Adventure (which opened right after I last went to Universal so this was my first time).... here's my Make-eml-Jealous-Report....


Spent the weekend in Miami at the house of an old, dear friend. Then returned to hot, blazin' Orlando.

The family packed up the rented Land Cruiser and (after a few direction issues) headed over to IOA. Parking in the SPIDERMAN area, we grabbed the nearest escalator to the Park. IOA is split into the following areas:

DOCTOR SUESS: I dont care how old you are - Suess is just plain fun. The CAT IN THE HAT ride was pure nostalgic entertainment, involving a twisty, turny storyline and a car that spun us around and around. The streets were beautifully decorated with signs and rhymes everywhere you looked. Other attractions of note: THE LORAX AUDIO WALKING TOUR, HOP ON POP ICE CREAM SHOP, IF I RAN THE ZOO INTERACTIVE MAZE. Neil's first purchase: THING ONE AND THING TWO SALT AND PEPPER SHAKERS.

THE LOST CONTINENT: This medieval tricked out area is the most visually appealing. Broken, crumbling temples, lavishly detailed stone work and masonry and quaint almost shacklike bars and food joints. We went on the DUELINE DRAGONS corkscrew ride which is the second best roller coaster in the park, then hit the POSEIDON'S JOURNEY ADVENTURE which involves a convoluted storyline involving getting trapped in an archeological expedition and returning Poseidon's trident or something like that. Neat looking temple, tho. We also sat through a stunt show called THE 8TH VOYAGE OF SINBAD which was a bit too hokey for me, but a good way to get outta the sun because by this time? Neck burn.

JURASSIC PARK: There's just something daunting about walking through those big wooden gates with the JP logo emblazoned on top. You keep looking into the trees thinking some shit is about to go down. After a nice lemon slush, we hit the JURASSIC PARK RIVER ADVENTURE, a cute boat ride/water flume that essentially sums up what the movie's about - tour gone astray, dinosaurs on the loose all around you, just as you're about to hit the flume, there's big boy T-Rex menacingly grabbing at you with lil arms. The drop was a bit disappointing though. Shop of note? NATURAL SELECTION (drink store).

TOON LAGOON: Here we go. Sunday Comics. Old time cartoons. Woody Woodpecker. Cathy. Heathcliff. The Phantom. Beetle Bailey. Word balloons and panels everywhere you go. BLONDIE'S SANDWICH SHOP. GASOLINE ALLEY. Two rides we hit: POPEYE'S RIVER ADVENTURE - a circular tube ride down ragin' rapids. Good clean fun that gets you soaked. The water turned my shirt yelow, though... Second ride: DUDLEY DO RIGHTS FALLS- a fantastic water flume that really turns the kitsch factor and the water presssure up. If i came from POPEYE feeling soaked, DUDLEY made me sodden and drenched. Neil's second purchases of note: BEETLE BAILEY shotglass and Bluto T-shirt.

MARVEL SUPER HERO ISLAND: OH MY GOD. Tricked out like a Midtown metropolis, this was like eye candy for me. Yancy Street crossed over Stan Lee Blvd. There was a park with a display that showed off the superheroes through the years from the 40s til today. Big honkin' cutouts of heroes fighting and pimping. Iceman sold slushes. Above the restrooms? Namor. Fighting high above the CAPTAIN AMERICA'S CAFE? Cap and Modok. MODOK. There's a comic shop with THIS WEEK'S COMICS. Next door, an Oakly shops sells Cyclop's movie glasses. HULK HANDS EVERYWHERE YOU LOOKED. Kingpin tossed coins from above the arcade in which you could be photogtaphed in the FantastiCar. Next door, two blokes named Ketch and Blaze are opening a mechanic store (right across from Nelson and Murdock's law firm). The FANTASTIC FOUR CAFE had folks walking around in the blue and white uniform, mingling with Latverian courtesans who wandered over from the DOCTOR DOOM FEARFALL ride (a turn the stomach accelerator that tosses you up and drops you down). Every building had the mark of Stark Foundation on it and there were Supervillain alert phones everywhere you went ("Venom has been spotted in Times Square - you know the drill." "If you're calling to report world domination. press one. If you're caling to report an alien invasion, press two). WE got there when the "heroes" were standing around getting pictures taken - WE caught Green Goblin, Cap and Dr Doom - and I hate to fight the urge to shout "RICHARDS!" as well as pull on his cape. Three rides of note: STORM'S WEATHER ACCELERATOR- a tilt o whirl, make you sick ride. What fun. THE HULK ROLLER COASTER- Easily the most popular ride in the joint. The wait was an hour and a half for a giant coaster that spun you around, made you go upside down and scared the hell out of everyone. And finally, THE SPIDERMAN 3-D ADVENTURE RIDE. HOLY CRAP was this awesome.


SPOILERS. BIG HONKIN ONES!


YOu wait on line in the Daily Bugle, listening to Jameson spew marketing copy about how great the paper is. There's some plot about the Sinister Syndicate (Doc Ock, HydroMan, Electro, Hobgoblin and a female Venom) stealing a levitator ray. Spidey is out there looking for them but you, as Bugle cub reporters, are gonna go help. You have 3d glasses of course. The great part about this ride is walking through the Bugle. The doors are labeled with names like Ben Urich, Betty Brant and Glory Grant. There's a darkroom where you can see Peter's photos drying, and each photo is a classic Kirby cover! File cabinets are labeled "Nick Fury - Wolverine." "Daredevil" has a file cabinet all his own. In the ride, you're driven out into New York. Immediately, Spiderman jumps onto your car (the car reacts accordingly) and warns you off. He swings away and you continue on, past a giant Iron Man billboard. Suddenly - there are the villains! It's like youre inside a comic book... the effects are SO GOOD. Electro attacks and shocks your car - the Venom girl jumps on the hood and menaces you. Doc Ock tries to get you but here comes Spidey! He fights Doc as you drive away, the STatue of Liberty head above you. Hobgoblin races out of the sky and is about to toss a bomb at you and Spidey gets you again. Suddenly, youre in the sewer and Hydro Man pops out ruight behind Spidey - they fight and water hits you, and then Ock levitates your car. You go up up UP inot the skyscrapers and Spidey webs on to keep up - but 'Goblin grabs him and flies away, dragging you and the car with them (over the Iron Man board). Its a quick ride until you find Ock and the others. The car precariously dangles on the building and suddenly, Ock de-levitates you and you FALL. Its a huge drop. As youre about to hit the ground Spidey webs a net and you bounce off to see the cops have arrived and the villains are all wrapped up. End of story. I went on this three times. Neil's next purchase: HULK HANDS.


UNIVERSAL: Not as good as IOA, Universal has become less a glamourous, classic movie based park and focuses more on whats hip and happenin' High point:

BLUES BROTHERS show: I dig the Brothers. This blues/jazz show featuring lookalikes of Jake, Elwood and Aretha takes place on a fake old style Chicago street with songs like "Soul Man," "Shake your Tailfeather" and "One More Beer." Lots of fun.

JIMMY NEUTRON: A simulator based on the Nickelodeon world taking you past areas like Rugrats and Spongebob Squarepants. Cute kids fun - funny adult humour.

SHREK 4-D: A 2 HOUR WAIT gets you into the Duloc dungeon where Pinocchio, the THree Pigs and the Mirror explain the the Ghost of Farquad is menacing the people of Duloc and you have to help stop him. The show is a movie detaling Shrek and Fiona's honeymoon on which Fiona is captured and Shrek and Donkey have to save her. Good interactive 3-d effects with many surprises. Still - a 2 hour wait.

BACK TO THE FUTURE: Doc Brown's 8 seater DeLorean spins you through time to chase down Biff Tannen who has stolen the original machine. Bumpy and jarring, this ride just made me sick. Plus, Biff kept saying "Hello?! Hello?!" Still, has some charm to it.

MEN IN BLACK: ALIENS ATTACK: Easily my favorite ride in the joint:

SPOILERS. MAJOR HONKING ONES!

YOu enter into a pavilion called THE UNIVERSE AND YOU, a Worlds Fair holdover and then are ushered into a large elevator. Zed then apologizes for the whole theme park thing and explains youre a recruit ("The Best of the Best." You're shunted down into MIB HQ past training posters and the main floor on which the screen shows aliens everywhere in the world. YOu get strapped into a buggy, are handed a gun and youre off! You drive into a training area and have to fire at the targets on the cardboard cutouts... and suddenly... youre in the city... aliens have landed - this is not a drill. Fire away! The place is magnificently detailed. There are aliens at every turn in this fake New York. You fire like mad, your chair spins and turns. Suddenly, Will Smith shows up telling you theres a HUGE BUG in the area... and your chair turns... and there it is. It's gigantic. You fire, you fire. Your chair spins... smoke hits you. Suddenly... youre done. You get awarded your points... but Will tells you you werent good enough and he neuralyzes you. Everything goes red and smoky.... and your car puls back into the UNIVERSE AND YOU pavillion which assures you that youre alone in the universe. Or are you? As you walk out, behind a PRIVATE door, a worm like alien says ""There they go... another bunch of happy people. What a stupid ride. (singing) The universe... and YOUUUUU..."

Man. I am burnt, but i had a blast. Off to check emails!


July 03, 2003
Gone fishin'!

OFF TO FLORIDA- DON'T WAIT UP.

Seeya on the 8th, folks.


drunk and drawn

OPEN MOUTH

Just got in from the late night NYC BBM Comical Jam Fights. Didn't do much crazy cartoonin' this month but did drink steady. A lil pokin' fun at the crew, some new faces and cute Irish wimmen.

I gotta get out more.


Packin' for Florida now. Hope I'm not forgettin' things.


July 02, 2003

INSERT FOOT

Anonymity is the new drug of choice. Aided and abetted by technological crutches such as telephones and computers, the populace strikes out from behind walls of fake names, untraceable modem lines and electronic masks. "Feedback" is the world's newest profanity, though it engenders a false sense of power and ableness. The irony? I'm decrying the retreat of human communication through the tool that's destroying it.

Coca Cola is slowly and insidiously killing us all, burrowing past enamel shields and softly eating away at stomach tissue. Soft drinks are anything but as they congeal into balls of acid deep in the pit of our guts, speeding us up, then slowing us down like some sort of sugracoated narcotic for children. Our systems are muddied, much like with the onslaught of television, making us less natural, less PURE. Our teeth are falling out but we're too dazzled by the Britney Spears ads.

But then I'm in a nostalgic mood.


kleid gets the ink...er..pixels..whatever

OPEN MOUTH

Apparently I am this week's BIG THING over at NinthArt.

http://www.ninthart.com/display.php?article=602


Back in the saddle...

OPEN MOUTH

Whew...! Well, after a few trying days there, the blog is back up and running. I was having some issues with Blogger so my piratey pal Jen "Merry" Flynn helped move me over to Movable Type which looks ever so much more easy to use. Hopefully I'll be updating this blog more often (even though I'm off to Florida tomorrow for a week or so to hit Universal and the Islands of Adventure...you know...like Cuba). Man - what a crazy week so far... a few quick bullet points:

- hit the Xeric submittable goal on NINETY CANDLES. Just finished setting the page layout up and the submission packet will hit the mail the minute I get back from the Mickey state. It's really looking nice after I adjusted the font to a more "handwritten" looking typeface. I'd hand letter it myself but wouldn't you know it - my lettering is worse than your average nine year old's (forget your above average nine year olds...)

- Nearing the end of the BROWNSVILLE script. Trying to get over a rough patch after Reles' untimely passing... it'll come together, baby.. it'll come together...

- getting set to start writing/sketching the first issue of THE BIG KAHN.

- working on the company website... playing around with a new program called Swish which is basically a poor man's Flash. The site looks boss, though.

- handing off the pages for HOUSE OF TWELVE tonight at the drink-em-up, cuss-em-up, fight-em-off comical jam. Hopin' we get a big ol' post-MoCCA turnout tonight... even so, it'll be good to see the Cheese brigade again after the blast we had a few sundays back.

- Good date last night. I totally dig the Riverside drive boardwalk... when I hike though the 79th street boat basin it always reminds me of the harbor near T'Veria in Israel. It's so calm and not-Manhattan... it feels almost quasi-European. One day I'm going to have to sit and drink there. The boardwalk itself is great.... and the "road to New Jersey" part of it near 66th always gives me the willies... like Godzilla is gonna rise up out of the water and chomp down on the fishermen. Still, I was playing catch with a pretty blonde there for an hour so bring on that reptillian submitch, I say.

- i ate a candy just now. Just now I ate a candy.

- almost done with the fifth Harry Potter. I was supposed tom save this for Florida. I'm WEAKWEAKWEAK

- someone sent me a great Maker's Mark coffee website... wish I could find a way to post images here... the bottle is great

- Check out www.laurennmccubbin.com to check out the cover to KITCHEN SINK Magazine #4 - the "blue" issue. I have a comic in this issue I'm really proud of... and apparently, by looking at the small eensy print, so does ex-New Yorker and Engine Press collaborator Kelly Sue DeConnick!

I actually had a big conversation with someone about the third issue of KS Mag last week... regarding an article about waitresses who don't wanna be promoted to manager positions because they then become "the boss" and it ruins the camaraderie amongst their peers. I find that fascinating as with MOST jobs out there, the goal seems to be grow, promote and climb the ladder. Being the boss of your ex-fellows seems almost natural in the kill-be-killed corporate jungle, but in the do-si-do waitress world... i guess not. are there very many industries that work this way? I wonder.

- my pal, A. Dave Lewis' book MORTAL COILS won second place in the Cinescape Literary something or other contest. He gets mad bones. Yay!

- got some great pages from Andrew Krahnke, the artist on my and Andrew "Staph" Dabb's miniseries DUMB LUCK. The main critique? Not enough splatter. Again, I'll post some images when I figure this here bloggy thing out.

TO DO:

finish BROWNSVILLE for good
send out Xeric packet
start the BIG KAHN
layout RANT COMICS #3
send packets o' comics to Isotope, Augie and Greg McE.
update website
live, laugh and threesome
draw the new LNB story
sleep

back in a bit, y'all


INSERT FOOT


exhibit a
something tells me this is all about penis size:

www.cnn.com/2003/TECH/ptech/07/02/popsci.stereo.kill/index.html

"At a curb weight of about 10,000 pounds, the Caravan is basically undrivable. There is virtually no room for a driver, and even less for a passenger.

'We need more batteries, but that's all the room we have,' Irving gripes. But he can at least sit in his driveway and listen to music, yes? Actually, no. Irving's audio system can't play music. It's designed to play a single frequency -- 74 Hz -- very loud. Irving, you see, is a dB drag racer.

dB (as in decibel) drag racing is an obscure but growing international "sport" in which competitors go head-to-head for two or three seconds at a time -- hence the name drag racing -- to establish whose sound system is loudest. The 2002 record, set by a German team of secretive audio engineers, was 177.6 dB."


exhibit b
stuart moore- sexy, smart and sarcastic:

www.newsarama.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=4344

"This column doesn’t usually deal in current comics events -- there are plenty of other venues for that. But there’s just too much going on this week for me to resist the temptation. And there’s one particular controversy going on that I just can’t ignore.

Who will be America’s Next Top Model?

I’ve never seen anything like this on the message boards. So many people had such strong opinions; they crashed the entire Newsarama server. Joe Quesada and Micah Wright can’t stop talking about it. Even Rich Johnston’s secret source “Felicia” has an opinion, if you can penetrate his -- oh, sorry, I mean her wall of secrecy."